Just A Night Owl

The Girls

Written on February 28, 2013 by just a night owl in Life, My kids, Random

Following the trend of the last 4 years of my life, I can now add the sentence, “I own six chickens” to the list of things I thought I would never say.

There are six of us in our family, so we each picked a chicken and a name.

The parent’s chickens~

Stevie belongs to my hubby. A fan of all things Apple. So, naturally she is named after the late Steve Jobs.

Princess Consuela belongs to me. I have seen every episode ever made of Friends. I find it to be the best show ever. So, upon the recommendation of my niece, Princess Consuela it is.

*Stevie and Princess Consuela

Both of our chickens are Silkie Chickens, like Tori Spelling’s chicken, Cocoa. If you are unfamiliar, please google. These “chickens” are “exotic” chickens the Chicken Store people told us. I think they are a cross between a poodle and a chicken. Whatever the case, stinking adorable. Black and white for us. Romantic, eh?

*Emily

The kid’s chickens~

Cameron’s chicken is named Diver. This kid LOVES him some ocean. Appropriately named. Very clever.

Taylor’s chicken is named Iris. She LOVES her some astronomy. Iris is named after the Iris Nebula.

…and may I just say now that I love those two kids.

*Diver is camera shy

Emma’s chicken is named Lola. You know why? “Because it is a cute name”. Good reason. Great reason.

Greyson’s chicken is named Emily because he loves Thomas the Train and since we have girls we had to name it after the girl train, Emily. Makes sense right?

*Princess Consuela

In several weeks these girls will move into their chicken coop Home Sweet Home.

In several months we shall be eating their eggs for breakfast.

Pretty fabulous.

Thanks in advance, girls.

Hiatus

Written on February 27, 2013 by just a night owl in 170 School Days. 2012, Memories

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An unplanned blogging hiatus has occurred, which is really more like an oh my word, where did the last several days, weeks, and basically the whole month go?

Each and every time I did sit down to write I had too much to say and then nothing could come out…So, today I sit and force myself. Just type it….Prepare for random and possibly long. There will be cute chicken pictures somewhere, so maybe just scroll through for those.

First, this one day I posted something about my kids begging me to live on a farm. By nightfall we were moving to land. I kid you not. God uses even Facebook, my friends.

The set up of our new home was clearly orchestrated by God. Every last detail. It is all so fabulous. We have been in our current rental home for almost 8 years and it has been well loved. While on one hand my heartstrings are breaking, I answered my daughter’s questions of aren’t you going to miss all the memories here? with a resounding NO because we are going to take them with us. Take them with us and then add a whole bunch more. I can’t wait for this new chapter.

*My new backyard

I began the great organizational clean out of twenty thirteen, hardly knowing it was in preparation for a move. So somehow during all of the regular of life these days, I have thrown in cleaning, sorting, and packing a 2400 square foot home into a pyramid of boxes ready to make its way to our new location just several miles from our current home. I quite literally lay awake at night decorating my new place in my head. No counting sheep here, just rearranging furniture tediously and meticulously, all the while imagining the possibilities and trying to decide if it really is too over the top to put a chandelier in my new chicken coop. I’m leaning towards, no, not hardly.

*one of my favorite rooms of my house was reduced to a plain room of nothingness this week. My treasures are in boxes for the new place. I highly recommend candlelight in bathrooms. You light candles and bathroom dirt disappears. I promise.

* * * * *

I have been trying to come to terms with some regrets lately. Have you been there? They have just been laying heavy on my heart. Nothing earth shattering in the grand scheme of things, just sometimes do you look back and say, “really? where WAS my head in those days?” Those decisions were not good ones. Not like bad sin decisions, just course of life ones, ones that led you down a path that you thought was great, but it wasn’t. Of course hindsight as they say IS twenty twenty and if I knew then what I know now, I would have done things very different, BUT we live and learn and that is what I am trying to come to terms with. (Three major cliches in one giant run on sentence, impressive right?). Maybe it is just the result of growing older and hopefully becoming wiser that you look back sometimes and think I never want to waste any of my God given moments again. Not ever.

Then I heard it…

“I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves me.”

Focus on Jesus.

I know He never wastes a moment. He causes everything to work together for good, but the human me wants to wallow sometimes. Mourn for moments lost because of decisions not made with my eyes fixed on Him. Or go down the I wonder if road….knowing full well that it leads to nowhere.

We enter this world naked and screaming, life can take its toll, and by 41 I have a collection of baggage. Some full, some empty.

Lord Jesus, please empty them all.

* * * * *

It’s the second most wonderful time of the year. Straight up right behind Jesus’ Birthday. My mailbox is full of curriculum catalogs. What IS it that is just so darn fun about choosing it all? I am SO excited about next year and the way things are already shaping up. Every year this gets easier and I can NOT believe that we will beginning our 5th year of homeschooling in the fall. FIFTH. F I V E. Seriously, it’s incredible.

* * * * *

Speaking of numbers I have SIX chickens. Stevie, Princess Consuela, Diver, Iris, Lola, and Emily. They are days old and the cutest things. Ever. Ever. Ever. So far so good. We have kept them alive for six days. By the time we are all settled in our new place, they should be just about ready to move into theirs.

* * * * *

School continues amongst the chaos. Just as a mom learns to multi task a little bit better with each additional child added to the family, a homeschool mom learns to multitask with an alarming capacity as well. Education, toddlers, packing. All in a day’s work. Think octopus.

* * * * *

I am caught up. Four of these bad boys. All sitting pretty. Caught up. Organized. Bliss. I’m a nerd. Yes, I know.

* * * * *

Instagram. I love words. I love photos. When you combine them, it’s magical.

Come follow me!

justanightowl

*****

All for now…

My God

Written on February 3, 2013 by just a night owl in Life

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Sometimes words won’t do and you just know that going in.

One of my favorite authors, Lysa Terkeurst, wrote a book that ever so profoundly changed my life. I want to send her a bouquet of Daisy’s and tell her thank you, but it hardly seems adequate. She and I were in the same room last night. There were 1400 other women there too. I loved her before and I love her even more now. I hung on her every word. I laughed until I cried and my only complaint came when she stopped talking.

Other amazing speakers and worship filled the rest of the time of this women’s conference that I attended about 45 minutes from my home.

This conference was one of the best I have been to. Such friendly people. Such incredible attention to detail. Such relevant stuff.

God moves in ways that are too profound and too intense to communicate at times. I would love to say that I am so in tune with Him that I experience this daily. I do not. I did this weekend. When you let your guard down and really are ready to listen, He never disappoints.

It left my friend and I sitting holding each other, praying, and sobbing before the Lord. This is not something I do enough. Raw Emotion. Healing. God’s whispers to our hearts. Hugs, I love you’s, and Starbuck’s Protein Box lunches in the sun on a rock cemented the memory. I just love her.

*working on my getting in front of the camera thing. Going for the teenager in the dressing room, minus the kissy face look.

My notebook was a flurry of scribbles…mad scribbles that I will take time this week to make sense of. Processing God’s moving in my heart is the top of my priority list for the week.

“I choose to give to You what I can not control”

“Choose life, not emotional death”

“Stop complaining, make it happen”

“Greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world”

“We can not give out what we don’t have”

“Choose trust, vulnerability, and gratitude”

“Pray for the creativity that will lead to action to profoundly bless someone else’s life.”

“Give Him what you have right now”

Words that I have heard a gajillion times. Words that God breathed fresh life into and spoke straight to my soul this weekend. Life Changing. Life Giving.

…and to top it all off there was a hotel involved. Ice chips, no making the bed, folded triangles of toilet paper, fluffy wash cloths, and 5 crisp poofy white pillows on the queen size bed that I had all to myself. Let it be noted that I slept diagonal.

…and and if that is not enough ~

While away, my husband and 8 year old daughter purchased supplies and made a 49er shirt for her to wear tomorrow for the big game. He took down all the outdoor Christmas decor (yes, we are THOSE people), continued the process of installing locks on doors and windows to keep our monkey safe, killed legions of ants, and generally kept things running while I was gone the way he always does. My hero.

My heart is full, my friends. The gum drops and ponies are out in full force and my God is good.

All the time.

The Crib

Written on January 28, 2013 by just a night owl in Life, Memories, My kids

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“Why are you crying, mom?” she says as she enters my toddler’s room. “I’m just rearranging and baby proofing in here because his crib is coming down soon. It’s a mom thing. I put all four of you guys into this crib that your grandma and papa bought for us and this is the last time it will ever be used for one of my babies. It’s a little sad to me.” {WHICH was a total lie because it is a lot sad. Like eat a pound of chocolate and wear black for an entire decade kinda sad. The kind where I have to text one of my besties and say “you’ve been through this, I will survive, right?”. My 12 year old can wait to realize this part of motherhood, I decide.}

“Unless”….I perk up.

“I’ll save it and then when you guys start having babies maybe I will have an extra room in my house and can set it up again for your babies to sleep in when they come over to party with grandma!!!” I have a moment of triumph and then…

HALT.

Wait just a minute.

Grandma?

I had a sickening revelation that I am the grandma in this scenario and that these days are not really THAT far off. The tears begin again, mixed with laughter, and the confession to my 12 year old that I am struggling lately with the speed in which time is choosing to fly.

The crib came down.

With heart ache quite deep and plenty of cuddling and savoring the moment of the last shred of babyhood I could find in my boy. We rocked, he hugged me, he patted my face, he wiped one of my tears. God is so great and my baby boy is so dang precious.

Then I made the choice to celebrate.

1-2-3 YEAH..chubby hands over head, we all cheered with him.

“You want a big boy bed?”, I ask? He says yes to which his answer is to just about everything. He has no idea what a big boy bed is, but I need somebody in this scenario to be excited he’s getting one.

“I want more” he says.

1-2-3 YEEEAAAHHH…again and again.

We repeat 602 times. The exact amount I need to remind me.

He had no idea what he was celebrating, but I do not want to live my life living in what is no more. So, when all else fails and it is hard to find your happy, throw your hands up in the air and yell.

The first haircut, transition to the big boy Sunday School room (complete with the craft he brought home), the move to the toddler bed…

all beautiful steps of growing up.

Diapers, pacis, and bottles are disappearing in my home and talks of high school days are beginning. Having a 2 year old and a 14 year old simultaneously is quite interesting. It makes me conscious and present of what is to come and how fast time does go.

Then today I read this.

Last Bites.

We are having plenty of those last bites around here these days it seems. They are so delicious, but the new chapter will be too.

Finding the good…it’s everywhere.

Homeschooling

Written on January 17, 2013 by just a night owl in 170 School Days. 2012, Homeschool Tips

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Don’t you hate it when you get a great planner, fill it in, and then find one you like better? Welcome to my last two days! I resisted the urge to waste anymore time and buy another one to re-fill in. I kept the original new one. Yay me.

When filling it in, I realized it is time to think about what homeschool conference I am going to attend. I have been 2 times. I find them incredibly important. I think that one of the big threats of homeschool is aloneness. Isolation. We are on an island. Even if you choose to use that to your advantage and sleep on that hammock, call Pedro for umbrella drinks, and live in paradise, at some point the aloneness will get to you. It is too easy to start using your own self as a judge on what your kids “should know” and “shouldn’t know” and a host of other decisions. The last thing I want in the world for my children is to raise them on my island, created by me and me alone. I want them to be able to leave this island and enter the “real world” completely ready to tackle college, careers, marriage, and family.

*first beaters. a total rite of passage.

Part of that readiness for me is staying in touch with my teacher friends and asking them to look at my curriculum. Looking at my friends kid’s homework and seeing if I am even remotely near it. Reading, researching, and learning {including going to conferences}. I find that each time I went, I saw hundreds of people who were normal, socialized, well adjusted, intelligent and polite people who love and want the best for their children. They have chosen this path of homeschooling as one of many to get there. It gives an extra layer of validity to the whole thing to me. A tangible confidence. Sometimes, in those moments, I need that constant reminder that I am not crazy.

On those times, when I wake up in the middle of winter and it is freezing cold outside and I am tired and I am in clothes for the 4th day in a row without a button or zipper in sight, I remember that I am no where near alone in this venture. I think the conventions are well worth my time and money and really? a weekend away. I’m o.k. with that part too.

Spring is not the best time of year for me. I prefer June through mid January. However, I love to plan and so the beginnings of thinking about the next year and what we will learn and sifting through the endless oceans of curriculum really help energize me during this slump time of year.

It really has been such a perfect first week back after a long holiday break, NOT because it has been perfect. Oh, if you could see my house in those moments. In fact this morning during one, I looked down to find my toddler driving, quite violently I might add, a circus train across my desk. You know the fun thing about older kids? They get things now. My oldest son locked eyes with me laughed and pressed the button for the circus music to add to the chaos. It was beautiful.

*all aboard the crazy train, please.

Each year I learn more and more. Each year I get better at what I am doing. By the time I figure it out, no doubt I will be creating a way to fulfill my promise to my 12 year old that she will wear a cap and gown and have a ceremony somewhere. However that is in fact life, right? The journey is the most important.

Homeschool requires so much. I have a nagging fear in the back of my mind of what will happen to me when I am done with this phase. When I wake up in the morning and actually might have some free time because there are no babies living at home with me anymore. The transition seems like it will be so much more abrupt than if they were at school outside the home all these years. I recognize its fairly ridiculous to even let these thoughts of 17 years from now cross my mind. We may not even continue homeschooling all the way through. Who knows what the Lord has planned.

*my monkey lives on…he got busted just after I snapped this.

This week we continued memorizing poetry, marrying off q and u {til death do they part}, multiplication, past participles, and the list goes on and on. Second, seventh, and eight grades are sure teaching me a lot. My daughter and I are finishing up a study on the kitchen. I can’t wait to tell you about it. It’s been super fun and was inspired by Polished Cornerstones.

Today is Thursday, which is my Friday. I am ready for the weekend! This teacher gig is exhaustingly fabulous.

I had a moment of sheer serenity earlier in the week. Classical music playing {which is standard around here}, new leopard slippers, pumpkin spice candle, teenage son going about his chores while teaching toddler how to do them too, both daughters engrossed in independent assignments, and my husband doing the dishes. Moments like these are the icing on the cake of life.

*****************

When you move to a new city, it can be so lonely. One of the first people I met 7.5 years ago when I moved to Elk Grove, was this crazy mama. We were on a field trip for our boys as they were in the same class. We chatted at a park and haven’t stopped since. We look alike and our hearts are a lot alike. People think we are sisters. We kinda are, just, not by blood.

Her baby girl has some pretty significant health issues. They went through some scary months waiting on a diagnosis. In fact, she was the one who found the disease online that her daughter was ultimately diagnosed with and brought the information to her doctors.

She has about a gajillion things on her plate and when she felt the Lord calling her to put a 5k run on to raise awareness and funding for Mitochondrial disease, she said yes. It’s going to be no small event. She doesn’t do small. Please take a moment to read about this event and Mitochondrial disease. The information could be so important to you or someone you know. I had never even heard of the word before.

Happy Thursday!

Cleaning Up

Written on January 16, 2013 by just a night owl in My kids, Random, Recipies

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I don’t really understand allowance. Maybe, I am mean. Maybe, it’s just the ultra tight budget we live on. Whatever the case, it just doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t ever recall any time in life when you get paid for nothing, right? Except when you breath a sigh of relief as you go past Broadway, turn the corner, and collect $200. Then there is FREE PARKING. You gotta love that.

Around here, my kids do chores and always will do chores. There is no payment for them. They are expected because they live here and we are a family and all help pitch in to make the household run.

A few weeks ago, I told them that they now had somewhat unlimited earning potential in the form of Quarter Chores. I will offer them during the day at random times when I need help and they are free to do them or not. They are also free to come and ask me if I need help or any quarter chores done. {The neighbor kids also have been known to help out with Quarter Chores. The word on the street got out that I am payin’.}

It has been fascinating to watch how they all handle this. The chores, mind you, are maybe 10-15 minutes tops. Little things. Only one of my children has grabbed a hold of the fact that a little bit over and over adds up to a lot. {I need to learn that lesson too}. It was really humorous the other day to see that my oldest figured out if he did one quarter chore each day, he could have $7 per month. Kinda like allowance. Oh, light bulb moments. How I live for them.

So, I figure it is teaching them discipline and hard work. They have the ability to earn and save. It’s all on their shoulders. Kinda like life, right? I realize that .25 cents is hardly “worth it” to them to help out. Maybe they will learn the value of hard work. Maybe I’ll just constantly be at a shortage for quarters.

If you are in the need for quarters, come visit. I have a list waiting…

After several weeks of no menu planning, it felt good to sit down and get my meals all squared away for the next couple of weeks.

January Meal Plan

January Recipes on Pinterest- All in one place so that I can easily find them!

I just recently bought this ecookbook. It’s pretty fantastic. I am excited to try a couple of new recipes (that are on my menu plan) from it this month. Freezer meals, healthy food, crock pot. I’m in

Today we cleaned up the shaggy heads of my four cuties. We drive about an hour to get hair cuts. I know that is kinda crazy, B U T…. it’s worth it to me. Low key, non snobby salon, adorably nice entertaining people in salon, and ridiculously cheap prices {$5 a kid, no lie. We were there 2.5 hours and she gave them the royal treatment}, plus insanely talented stylist. That’s my perfectly normal explanation. We make an adventure of it. Hair Cut Day.

My littlest. His first hair cut and his first lollipop which he kept yelling “mmm dandee” for candy and not because he thought it was dandy.

Yes, my heart broke a bit.

Before.

and after. The curls stayed! Which is good because if they had left, I might have cried in the salon. Crisis averted.

mmm I am so glad I get to squish this little monster every single day. I freaking love him.

Seriously, how did these kids get so big and how many times can I say that?

and dear sweet girl, can I please have some of that gorgeous hair? After all, I did go through labor for you. It hurt really bad and I think it would be only fair. Thank you. Muah.

Jaime’s magical chair. I’m going to buy this girl a pony one day. She’s the hair whisperer and we love her.

Happy Wednesday.

Insanity. A Real And A Little Bit Harsh Of A Post.

Written on January 15, 2013 by just a night owl in Health

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There is something to be said about diary style blogging. It may be “nicer” to have gone through something and then write about it when it’s done. You can be careful to insert the necessary and leave out the messy. That’s not really what is going on here. I am on this journey. This is my tale as it happens. I’ve had some huge discoveries in the last couple of months and they are messy and convicting for me.

Insanity. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. ~Albert E.

I read that the night before I began Insanity, the actual program. I thought it curious because here I was “geared up” for another intensive program. Part of it just didn’t feel right. I have done many programs, without the results I want. What was going to be different this time? I’m still missing something. I shrugged a shoulder and progressed anyway.

I recently finished Insanity. I did the first eight weeks, every work out and then on week 9, I stopped. I did it knowingly and I am o.k. with that right now. With my husband off work that week and it being the week after Christmas I decided to take a break. I am happy with the dedication I had and changes in my body that Insanity gave me. The results were indeed not completely what I wanted, but I did not complete the nutrition side up to where it should have been. The results not coming the way I wanted should be expected. The program itself is awesome and I have no doubt will achieve results if you do ALL OF IT.

It’s a funny named program. Appeals to the all or nothing types and probably seems ridiculous to the others? I am not sure. BUT one thing is I don’t really find it all that “insane”. Insane would be working out for like 8 hours a day. Then lets talk crazy. I’ll even buy you the cup of coffee for our chat. Insanity workouts in month 2 average 60 minutes, even less in month one. I don’t find that excessive really. It’s intense, yes, crazy hard. Insane, I don’t think so. Hard work outs for sure. Results are measured by the effort you put in. Great results requires hard effort. I loved it and am repeating it. Don’t let the name of it scare you away. Bottom line is I think most tools on the market are effective to some degree. You gotta find the ones you like. Like Beachbody says…Decide, Commit, Succeed.

Every step in this life long journey to better health is important. Every lesson learned {and there have been a ton for me} is part of the big picture. Once I dedicated myself to doing this the “right” way and seeking after God’s direction rather than the best quick fix that I could get my hands on, I began seeing results that had me on the road to lasting changes. The last couple of weeks have been incredibly intense in my own heart and head.

The thing I have realized most importantly is this:

*insert harshness*

We don’t get to decide what we are willing to do, do that, and then complain that the results are not what we want or are unfair. God set this gig up. He’s got it covered. In fact, the more I learn about real food (the food God made) the more in awe I am about God. The foods He made are truly incredible. The ones man has made, not so much.

We can not decide we don’t want to feel deprived, not eat the right portions, and then get upset and pray for His help. He must be sitting on the throne going, are you kidding me? It’s kinda like standing in the freeway in the fast lane and praying for His protection.

We can not eat a diet filled with processed food, sugar, caffeine and then complain about being tired.

We don’t get to run ourselves ragged and fill our lives so full of activity that we say “I just don’t have time to work out today” and then get upset because our pants stop fitting.

We also don’t get to decide that we are going to beat our bodies in submission to look perfect in our eyes and today’s standards and neglect every other responsibility in order to achieve that.

Our health must certainly take its rightful place. God gave us these bodies and we are to take care of them. He designed them so we need to take care of them HIS way not the way that we decide that we are willing to do it. The answer on how to take care of that requires the obvious information that we all know. Eat the right things. Eat less. Move more. Etc. Etc.

A lack of knowledge is certainly not the reason that way over half of Americans are obese.

*harshness over*

In total annoyance the other night about something totally unrelated to my health, I seriously kinda threw that “GOD, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME? You are supposed to be helping me” thing out there. Loud and clear the response….Are you doing your part? My humble answer to that was no, actually I am not. That’s kinda important.

Then I quickly connected it to this health journey. It has been a long time. A life time of eating disorders now in my past, the time spent on recovery has been valuable, not wasted. I have learned so much and am so grateful with all the work that God has done in my heart. It’s all been necessary. However, the last piece has been that I don’t want to give up the ability to eat what I want when I want. That’s just the bottom line and it isn’t comfortable to say that out loud, in case you are wondering. I hate feeling controlled. I hate being accountable. It isn’t so much about the food. It’s internal.

Up until recently, I was not aware of this in my own life. It’s taken quite some time to see it.

I need to come on my knees before the throne of the one who made me. Give Him my all, daily. Recognize that this is a huge tool that Satan uses to knock people down and keep them in bondage, quite literally. Give God my heart, soul, calories, and confess my resistance to His control in my life.

You see the thing I figured out LOUD AND CLEAR is that I don’t get to define the rules and then decided if I am going to live by them. He defines them and I obey. It’s really fairly simple.

This is all a process that God will remain faithful in guiding us to the foot of the cross. Whatever your path looks like or wherever it takes you is unique to you. There is no one fix cure all to anything in life. If there is one outstanding lesson in all of this is Run to Jesus.

To me, taking care of this body in modern day America, is super challenging. Laura Ingalls didn’t have Krispy Kremes and Mercedes to distract her. {If they did, I am certain that Almanzo and her woulda been joy ridin’ down the main street of Walnut Grove.}

A healthy lifestyle takes a lot of discipline. It many times isn’t fun. It many times hits very deep issues and baggage I have and makes me want to go fetal. It many times is just plain hard.

It has to be done.

Yep. It. Does.

Let’s encourage each other in truth and not excuses. Love each other enough to say it like it is. That’s why I love Jillian. She yells it out. I love her passion. Let’s be that for each other (perhaps minus the yelling and swearing). Remind each other of our goals and the expectations that God has for us to take care of our bodies, in love, and maybe more importantly in honesty.

I had a total stranger tell me last Saturday {while in the midst of a conversation about working out}~ You look fine. Thirty pounds to lose these days is really not all that bad. You should be happy with where you are, you are doing great. It would be quite easy for me to adapt to that standard. However, in my heart I know that isn’t right because I don’t want to give up control of this area of health. It’s an internal issue and a spiritual one. I have been resisting it for a long time, cloaked in so many excuses and circular reasoning. I’m done.

Besides I don’t wanna live a not all that bad life. I wanna life a freakin’ fantastic knock it out of the park one and my health is directly related to my ability to do that.

I feel like an onion.

God’s been peeling the layers away one by one by one for a long time. I keep thinking, “oh crap, there is more to deal with? For the love…”. I kinda feel like I’m at the center now. He’s shown me the truth just like I asked Him to.

This is it.

What are you gonna do with it?

Miscellany Monday

Written on January 14, 2013 by just a night owl in 170 School Days. 2012, Miscellany Monday

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1. Back to school today. It has been a fantastic break. I have enjoyed every single second of it. However, I also enjoy making up sentences with spelling words. Such as, “behind, I can see your behind right now.” Fantastic gig I’ve got goin’ here.

2. I have a monkey. My boy uses the railings of his crib as balance beams and anything that isn’t nailed down as a step stool. This is our first climber at such a young age. I am currently sleeping camped out on his floor while his new bed and extra extra tall gate (for his doorway to his room because the extra tall did not stop him) make their way to our house. I am not sure how I will go back to my own bed and sleep peacefully, knowing that he now can get up in the middle of the night and do whatever he wants. How do I keep this kid safe? Ideas welcomed. Empty the room completely? Leave furniture and bolt it to the wall? I need a sound machine for white noise somewhere in there and I really want to buy a video monitor so that is going to need to be plugged in as well. Help me mamas of monkeys. This boy is bound and determined, strong as can be, and quite stealth like. I woke up the other night to him sitting by my head quietly playing my iPhone that he had found and snatched. WHAT?????????

3. Insanity round 2 starts to-day. I appreciate that the days promoting over indulgence are now replaced by the days trying to encourage New Years resolutions. It makes healthiness a wee bit easier.

4. We are in a book!!!! This fabulous author Mealnie Warner wrote a book. You’ve got to check it out, it is really good. This girl knows her stuff. It will be released next month. Get your copy here. It talks all about processed food in America. Our part is about why we switched and how it has affected us. So fun!

5. Quick! Run over to Hip Homeschool Moms and enter to win a 3 month subscription to Little Passports. I was able to review the product. It’s pretty darn spectacular. Sam and Sofia and a magic Vespa in exotic lands. I mean really?

6. I rearranged my house. This is not the first time nor the last. It works so much better. Nothing like a fresh new layout. The office became a den, the dining room became an office, the living room got a major facelift, the play area became the dining room, and the under the stairs closet became the play area. Got it? I also scored a dreamy vintage couch in the process. Me happy.

7. Every single thing in my house is getting gone through, sorted, and cleaned. I think it might take me 2 months to complete the process due to my rather full time job of motherhood and homeschooling. However, it is so worth it. It makes me giddy.

8. ”Mom, I don’t know what a subtraction sign is. I am getting old and I forget stuff.” ~ emma (8yrs old).

9. I was reminded this week that God is at the end of your rope. I was really frustrated the other night about some things and kinda challenging God on them in my daring human type way and He kinda said, “Well, are you doing you’re part”? “Um no, no I am not.” It was a good swift kick in the booty that I needed. God’s good at those. We’ve gotta do our part. We can’t sit around and complain that what we want isn’t happening. Truth be told most of the time in those situations, I am not even doing what I am supposed to be doing. THEN I get all like, “where is God in all of this?”. Anyone else have this problem? We just have to be faithful with what we have and where we are at. One foot in front of the other.

10. It’s cold where I live right now. Sunny California is freezing me. Like 27 degrees. I am considering moving to live in my hot shower indefinitely.

Happy Monday.

xo.

Writing random and joining Carissa @ Lowercase Letters

Seventy Two Times.

Written on January 9, 2013 by just a night owl in Life, Photography

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The Lord has truly blessed my business endeavor this past year as I sought an outlet for all things creative, a mommy break, and an additional income to support our homeschool and extracurricular activities. These are some of my favorites from the last month. Boy, was I busy! Christmas photos galore. It was so festive. My camera, my McDonalds peppermint hot chocolate, and I were very busy.

I was thinking through my business plan today. Working on some goals for the new year. I sat down to count the sessions that I had during 2012. I was floored.

I began my business on Mother’s Day 2012. During these almost 8 months I have had 72 sessions ranging from training sessions, to student portraits, to full length sessions, and even a wedding. I am not sure how that is even possible. I really couldn’t be more thankful. AND I’m totally not even just saying that.

I sit in awe of our Lord and what He blesses us with. When things are right, they just are…and they work. When He calls you? go! and He blesses.

I tend to be impulsive. No shock if you know me. I get an idea and I go with it. I don’t like to think through how to do it or if it will work because it will. I will make it. No matter what it takes. Fear generally doesn’t enter the equation. Many times this is fantastic. {Sometimes not so much}.

With this business venture, I was not impulsive. I thought and thought, had friends advice, had husband support, and most importantly, many conversations with the Lord. The night before I began, something hit me that I had not thought about.

What if no one ever hires me? Fear gripped me pretty bad that evening. I prayed and prayed about it and tossed and turned all night. I seriously considered not going for this. Because honestly, what if I suck? I mean who was I to think I could do this? Morning came and I hit publish on this and the journey began. No looking back.

I am so glad I did.

I love what I am doing. I love the opportunities. I love the beauty of the emotion that turns up in these images. I love meeting the people and I really love the kids. Oh the little munchkins make me smile.

I love being a part of an engagement, a birth, a birthday, a reunion, or a moment in time when family members from all over the country are together.

It pretty much rocks.

Pictures are pretty important.

They tell such powerful stories.

Stories of life, just as it is.

I can’t wait for 2013.

I’ve got much more to learn…

More new things to experience…

I’ve got plans, my friends….

I’ve got dreams…

Kick the fear to the curb, it’s not worth it.

What might you miss if you don’t?

I’d love your “LIKE” over at my Facebook page, if you have a minute to visit. My website will be coming this year too. Such exciting things. There is a big smile plastered on my face tonight.

The Mission Statement

Written on January 6, 2013 by just a night owl in Life, Memories, My kids, Random

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“Do you think it’s normal that at 41 I feel like I am just figuring out who I am?” I ask.

“No”, he says promptly…”but I think it is good.”

Park conversation between my man and I, while chasing a toddler, watching two girls try and master shoot the duck, and feeling the absence of the 6 foot tall teenager who was lovingly abandoned us to join the neighborhood teens at the skate park near by.

Hardly the words that should accompany this moment, I think. Truth is, moments rarely happen the way you think they are going to. For that matter, life in general rarely happens the way that you think it will.

I’ve got post holiday slump. I always do this time of year. Tonight I was driving home and I gasped alone because off in the distant field I saw it, the one lone house. The hold out. Multi colored lights in meticulously straight lines framed an outdoor tree that was unaware of the date on the calendar, as it still shone brightly. Blow up Santa was peeking out of the chimney and I paused thinking this will perhaps be the last time I see lights this season. I wonder if the inhabitants of this house were die hards and didn’t want to see the sparkle boxed up until next year, or far more likely just busy. Maybe even just big procrastinators. Who knows, or really who cares for that matter. I am just glad that they still had sparkle. My last hoo~rah.

I have been strangely silent the last month. Not because I have nothing to say, but rather because I have too much.

We had an amazing holiday season, all of it. It seems I just declared my intent to move slowly through December and savor every last bit of it when I suddenly find myself banging pots in the street at midnight and yelling Happy New Year as loud as I could. I blinked and the best 6 weeks of the year happened. They were planned for, lived out, and almost cleaned up in the fraction of a second. I don’t know how that happens.

*our yearly post Jingle Bells in hushed tones serenade to mom and dad picture. Read about that here.

…and now here we are. Just days into the New Year. The blank slate, the shiny new calendar. The opportunity to grab dreams and make them realities. The inevitable moments to reflect upon the last 365 days. The very convenient time to make changes, better ourselves, and our lives. What will this year hold?

All of these fragmented thoughts and feelings swarm around inside my heart and head struggling to make any rhyme or reason at all. I recently remembered the opening scene of Jerry Maguire. That’s who I feel like these days. That night where it all bubbled out in the form of a mission statement. It ultimately cost him his job, but “I was 35, I had started my life.” -Jerry Maguire. True change requires true sacrifice. It’s never easy.

*little man received a train table. He played with it for 3.5 hours straight. #notkidding

One of these days, and it’s coming soon, it’s all going to blurt out of me. I am going to channel my inner Jerry, but until then I keep processing and dreaming of an old school typewriter that I can unleash my new found thoughts on when they become coherent.

*new favorite game, to copy my faces

It’s amazing to watch the days play out in my life and see God’s hand using every single breath I take. He promised it and so it is, but sometimes we can’t see the bigger picture and then sometimes God in His infinite wisdom, allows us a glimpse. I caught such a glimpse the other day. A big huge dream and thought wow…what if? If I knew this was coming, how would I change my todays. It inspired me.

*the whole family, minus me behind the lens

Growing older is crazy. The more wisdom I gain the more I realize just how very little I know.

I began praying for a word to focus on in 2o13. The last word of mine was passion. I had lost mine. I found it again and I have had a burning desire for where to put it all. After very little time the word that just was screaming at me was HOME.

I have such a passion for home. The four walls and roof that house the hearts that dwell here. The whole thing from top to bottom and inside and out. The structure that frames it and the people that fill it. Without them I would not be who I am. They make my role on this earth possible. The wife and the mother that I am to be depends on the very breath that they take. They are not a prop in my life. They are my life.

I have been awestruck the past few months at the very big responsibility that lies in my home daily. What a big role I have in shaping our home. I better be doing it and doing it well. Living intently. Living healthy and whole and living Holy. Relying on the very One who gave me life to guide me and move me. My responsiblity is one that is easy to overlook as a home becomes just a place to lay our head at night all to quickly in this warp speed life we find ourselves living. So many things fighting for our attention and it is easy to think home is o.k. when in fact it is not. It’s easy to turn our eyes and take for granted those we hold most dear. To give them our left overs instead of our firsts.

*antique shopping. He doesn’t normally carry furniture around the streets of small quaint towns.

My heart, my marriage, my children, and my home….in Christ, the foundation for all things. It better be in order.

*how we roll on Fridays.

Not so coincidently, I have been gearing up for the great organizational clean out of twenty thirteen. I have said it so often that my husband is threatening to write a jingle for it. It’s in full swing. I began in the kitchen. Everything got sorted, wiped down, cleaned out, and rearranged. It energizes me in ways words can not express. {Not to mention entertains me immensely as I watch people go to reach for things, remember they’ve been moved, roll their eyes, pause for a moment, and then go to the new location.}

*”E A T.”

I’m just kinda crazy like that.

Happy New Year.