Today I was shopping for my non perishable groceries. The majority is purchased at Whole Foods, a few items like my flour and Shredded Wheat come from Target. My bread comes from Great Harvest. Today we picked up some special order hamburger buns for the first time as well. Yum.

Some estimates are that Americans eat 22 teaspoons of sugar a day (teens eating up to 34 teaspoons). Prior to our 10 day food challenge, I would have absolutely said that that did not apply to my family, but rather to the ones who let their kids eat pop tarts, oreos, sodas, and candy. After the 10 day food challenge, which forced me to read every label, I would absolutely say that we did eat that much. The food challenge started me researching chemical dyes (seriously, we have to chemically color something that has an intended purpose of making my children healthier?), preservatives (even my beloved Chick fil a has MSG in their chicken?), oils, breads, and sweeteners. It had me watching documentaries like Sick Fat and Nearly Dead, Food Inc, and Forks over Knives. You know what my conclusion is? This food situation we have in America is depressing. Bottom line. Where is the food in our food?

I wallowed a little, got angry, and then decided I can do the best with what I have available to me. I have improved five bajillion percent for my family and I am proud of us. It is in every way worth it. The bottom line is I never thought that the food we were eating before was “unhealthy”. I didn’t ever think about it. I mean really connect it. But now, why would you eat all these chemicals if you can eat the same food without them? Yes it is harder. Yes it is more expensive. However, when I consider the benefits vs the risks, I see no choice that needs to be made.

These days it is no longer even as much about WHAT you are eating as it is about how it is made. You can eat pizza. Just not Totinos Pizza, please. There are healthier ways to eat our favorites that involve actual real food. There are also new favorites waiting to be found. One of my families new favorites is some whole grain pasta with sugar snap peas, corn, and carrots mixed in. Add a little balsamic vinegar and some fresh grated cheese. It’s so yummy.

Bread crumbs recently taught me a valuable lesson. I just never would have thought to read the ingredients in the standard bread crumbs. After all it is B R E A D C R U M B S. Wrong. You can buy healthy bread crumbs or ones with a whole bunch of words that challenge even the best readers. The same is true for many products and we need to invest the time to read the labels.

So, my husband and I have landed in the following place. We will not eat preservatives such as MSG and others. We are no longer eating chemical dye of any kind. We go for whole grain always. We go for organic, local, cage free, free range, pasture raised and however else you want to phrase it. We are researching and learning to become more educated. We are reading and questioning what we are putting on our table. We are trying to stay within our original food budget prior to our change in eating, which was $600 a month for a family of 6. I am struggling to do that and we will likely need to raise it to $800. We are willing to do that if necessary. We cancelled cable already and will do other things to make it work. Our health is too important to say we can’t afford to eat this way because the truth is we can. It is all about where we are going to spend our money. We will still occasionally eat sugar, but it will be for sugar sake. For example a cookie or a birthday cake. This will be and can be done much healthier than the ways we were doing it before. I am still learning what those are.

I would consider myself far from properly educated on all things healthy food related, but I am learning. When I use the word WE it implies my whole family. My thirteen year old just attended a swim party where there was junk food galore. He passed it all up because he said it wasn’t good for him. The next morning at church when the leftovers where present he caved and ate 5 Oreos. We have some work to do, but one out of two times is 50% better than it was before, right?

I wish that true food education was easier to come by. Marketing is so deceiving. Fresh n Easy may carry some healthy things but they are not a health food store (you still have to be careful), there is really no such thing as a healthy fast food restaurant, Nutella is not a healthy breakfast option, and on and on… It’s amazing to me that Kellogs and other companies manufacture the same foods in Europe without chemical dye as they do here in the USA. They have the recipes. It can be done. Strange.

I am currently grocery shopping weekly for perishables and bimonthly for non perishables. Every meal and snack is planned out for 15 days at a time. This morning I bought several things that I have never purchased before and  I was cracking up a little bit. I have a bunch of new recipes to try in the next couple of weeks. As I was asking the Whole Foods worker this morning what Tahini was because I needed some for a new recipe I was going to make, I could only crack up. How far I have come.

 and you may be asking why I keep talking about this?

Basically because my family feels fabulous.

It’s so worth it.

We are still eating real food. I have been getting just a ton of questions about how it is going, so I thought I would update.

The short of it is: We have committed to this. No turning back.

THE GOOD

Oh, I don’t even know where to begin. I feel pretty fantastic. GONE are the sugar cravings. For the girl who would easily drive an hour to eat a Krispy Kreme, I tell you the cravings are gone. Last year, I went thirteen weeks without desserts. They weren’t gone then. You know why? I was still eating a TON of sugar in bread, salad dressings, rotisserie chicken, cheerios, and more. They are gone now because I am not eating sugar. Did you know that there are at least 50 other names that sugar will be identified as? Yeah, bummer huh? Overall, I just feel better. More energy, not full and yucky, and I definitely don’t feel like if I don’t consume some brownie dough, I just might eat my arm off.  If you want to know more about sugar, check out this video.

All my family members report feeling better, childhood constipation is gone, husband’s almost daily heartburn is gone, people in my house “feel clearer” and focus better. There have been SIGNIFICANT behavioral changes in one of my children. Sound to good to be true? I tell you I have heard people say things like this all my life, but I didn’t really take it to heart. Now that I have experienced it myself, I can tell you that letting sugar go becomes a whole lot easier because I don’t want how good I feel to go away. SO, will I eat sugar again? Maybe occasionally. Maybe not. Tastebuds change and I tell you that fruit is pretty spectacular when your tastebuds are not confused with donuts and candy and such.

THE BAD

We spent quite a bit on groceries last month. We have a $600 a month food budget for our family of six. I nailed that budget monthly for the last couple of years. Last month it all changed, which is to be expected. There will be a learning curve and we are willing to invest in it. This month, I am shopping weekly to try and stop the bleeding of overspending. $150 a week. We will see. I still have some small changes to add in, but they will come later. I hope to be able to go 100% organic or close to it. We are almost there, but not quite.

I can not believe how difficult it is to maneuver the presents, the parties, the awards for Awana, the sucker for the hair cut, the Sunday School prizes and treats, the birthday parties and on and on….It is sticky because the last thing I ever want to do is to come across as snobby or make a scene anywhere. We are moving our way through this one day at a time. Our current rule has been choose your absolute favorite treat when faced with a buffet of options. The term treat now includes rainbow goldfish crackers. It is a strange new world.

After just a week, I can see that this plan isn’t really going to work, as sometimes my kids are in these situations multiple times daily. SO, this part is still not settled in my mind. However, that is in large part due to the fact that I overanalyze everything and need a plan. It’ll work itself out. I need to relax. I continue to educate my children on what is actually in the food they are eating so that they can take ownership of their own choices. I also continue to talk to them about how everyone makes different choices and that is o.k. If they choose to turn down sugar, that does not make them weird! REALLY IT DOESN’T

My final thought in this here bad category is— I miss eating out. Long gone are the drive thru for a quick meal days, but I just would like to go out to a nice sit down meal. I know there are ways to do this and healthy-ish options out there. I just need to find them. The all or nothing in me doesn’t do well in situations like this. I need to find my balance and be o.k. with it.

THE UGLY

The ugly comes when it doesn’t occur to you to pack snacks for the Awana Grand Prix that lasts for four hours. Eating at the snack bar provided will give you options of pizza, nachos, donuts, cookies, soda, candy, and more. However, with the kids already “winning” a pack of sour skittles, it was hard to think that I would buy them more. They did have apples. That was the only option that was really real food. They were $1.00 a piece.

The ugly comes when I haven’t grocery shopped and the house is EMPTY and the kids need lunch NOW because they have been at church all morning and are starving. Ordering Mountain Mikes just may mean a day of stomach pain and feeling like a huge blob with no energy. I am guessing when you maintain a steady stream of highly processed foods that involve sugar and other additives, you become used to it. When you are truly eating clean and you put some of those processed foods back in your body. Watch out. I am sure everyone responds differently, but it’s not a fun thing. Trust me.

MOVING FORWARD

The bad and ugly in no way outweighs the good. Not by a long shot. Really making changes like we have made is hard. I am thankful that everyone in my family is on board. I am incredibly blessed in that way because it would be very difficult to change this much without everyone buying into it.

I am confident that as with anything new, in a matter of time, it will feel completely normal. I have read that a good goal is to shoot for no more than one “treat” a week. We are not quite there with the kids, but definitely working towards it. They probably eat 20% of the junk that they used to eat and at home they are 100% fine.

I never in a million years, thought that I would be so invested in label reading, but let me tell you once you start it is hard to imagine what they are trying to sell us and what we are buying. It is worth reading. It is worth digging. It is unsettling, but it is worth it. I think we all know that Spam is gross, but I never paid attention to the 80 ingredients in a Costco cake. I am SO new at all this and SO not an expert at any of it. I am learning though.

We are eating like kings and queens, I tell you, absolutely delicious food. Spaghetti and meatballs, stir fry, salads, veggies, fruits, homemade banana bread, crepes, crackers, cheeses, and snow cones….just to name a few. It is possible to make these things with real food ingredients. It actually tastes better too.

The number one thing I have been asked is “What is this diet…a.k.a. what is allowed?” The answer is pretty simple, but yet also crazy difficult. The answer is real food. Little to no processing, readable ingredients, no sweeteners, etc. That’s it. The tough part is not eating it, but rather finding it.

Above all, yet again I marvel at the Lord and His creation. The more that I become informed about food and what it provides for our body, the more I realize His love and care for us. When we enter in all the man made stuff is when we start having huge problems. He knows what He is doing.

Do I sound a little bit crazy? To some yes. Even to myself, I find it odd to read the sentences that I am typing. I never saw this one coming. This is where we are at and we are staying here. It’s a learning curve. I am sure it will continue to be. It’s a beautiful one and it works for us.

*For all kinds of crazy good information, check out the 100 Days of Real Food blog. She hooks you up with all you need to know!

Ten Days for our family of real food. It is possible. It is doable. With the exception of a short planned break for one of my girls at a birthday party, we all nailed it.  No mess ups {other than that mint my husband ate without thinking and the bunny puff that belonged to my baby that I put in my own mouth without thinking}.

About 15 years ago, I was at a conference with a friend of mine. She leaned over and whispered “Let’s go get something sweet at the cart outside”. You don’t have to tell me twice. As I picked up my jaw off the floor (she was my healthy eating friend) and followed her outside, I would have never guessed the outcome of this. I waited behind her in line to see her gaze at all the candy and deliciousness and then reach out and pick up a nutrigrain bar. I said, “I thought you were getting some junk food.” She replied, “I did.” Yes, I felt stupid.

I have spent my life in middle ground with our eating choices. I regularly see people who eat “worse” than we do. I regularly see people who eat “not worse” than we do. I suppose, on some level, everyone could say the same thing.

We have had an overhaul on our food and for the first time it makes sense to me. It’s not to incorporate a powder, or a bar. It isn’t to trick our body into behaving a certain way. It’s to eat REAL FOOD. Our ten day challenge taught me so much.

*watermelon~ I think God’s version of Krispy Kreme. It’s a great dessert and it was just that on day 4, 5, and 7.

Some questions I regularly have had….

IS IT MORE EXPENSIVE TO EAT THIS WAY?

UM YES, yes, and yes. It is more expensive. No way around that. There are definitely ways to stretch the dollar. However, it is more expensive. 

DOES IT TAKE MORE TIME?

UM YES, chopping and cleaning vegetables and making tortillas from scratch is definitely more time consuming than ripping open a Totinos Pizza Box and slinging it in the oven.

WAS THE PLANNING HARDER?

Yes, but only because it is a total overhaul in what we eat. In time, it will be no harder, I believe, than how we were eating before.

*Roasted Butternut Squash with Olive Oil and Sea Salt, Steamed Cauliflower with Parmesan, Baked Potatoes with a little real Butter and pepper, and Salad with sliced Cucumbers and Balsamic. Dinner~day 3.

The 10 day challenge was different then just trying to eat better because it forces you to read all the labels for ten days. Everything. I was shocked. I still am shocked. The things that I THOUGHT I was doing “good” or “better” than other choices…not so much. Such as marshmallows have blue food dye in them? Are you serious?

I read articles and researched and learned. I am learning new foods. Like Kale. Uh huh. It’s on my menu. I am learning new tricks like unsweetened cocoa powder and 100% maple syrup make a nice chocolate sauce that rivals Hersheys, not a fake nasty diet chocolate.

* Whole Wheat Crepes with Chocolate Sauce. Dessert~day 2.

I felt so happy with the food I was feeding my family. I was not constantly saying NO to the junk, but yes to snacks of cauliflower and carrots and apples and almonds. I was feeding them nutritious meals. It made this mama happy.

The biggest shockers of the whole thing were~

1. I expected to grin and bare it and muscle my way through some mind numbingly horrible diet tasting food for 10 days. Instead I found immediately that real food tastes better. I don’t mean slightly better, I mean my kids were asking for seconds and thirds better.

2. My 13 year old woke up on day 7 and announced that he felt like a fog had been lifted. (I did not put those thoughts in his head ahead of time).

3. There is sugar in everything and I mean everything. EVERYTHING. Soy sauce to rotisserie chicken to mayonnaise and beyond.

4. There is also food dye in everything. My children’s vitamins, canned vegetables, throat lozenges, and everything in between.

5. My kids were 1000% on board. All of them. They even passed up donuts, candy, lollipops, and Cheez its (all offered at church).

WHAT NOW?

Yes, this has changed us. More than I thought possible. I read articles like this and this and it has made my husband and I think long and hard about our budget and our food. We are making adjustments. We are finding our own balance.

I will not be found on an intersection in a sandwich board shouting for the end of processed food. Not by a long shot. I am not turning my blog into a health food blog. There are plenty of brilliant ones out there like this one and this one. I will not be condemning anyone who does not think like me and if you invite me over for dinner, I am going to eat what you fix me, I promise.

*Chicken stir fry with brown rice, pineapple, apricot all fruit spread, and liquid aminos. Whole wheat bread, salad with peppers and balsamic, and corn with a little real butter and sea salt and pepper. School lunch on day 9.

I will tell you this, my biggest lesson came on day 11 and lingers even today on day 12. We officially stopped the challenge after day 10. As planned and promised, we made chocolate chip cookies at lunch time and ordered our favorite pizza for delivery for dinner. After a couple licks of dough and one cookie, I had my first noticeable sugar rush of my life. I only noticed it because I had been living in a continual one for as long as I can remember, but it took the true absence of sugar for 10 solid days to show me just what I was dealing with. We went ahead with dinner plans and 2 slices of pepperoni pizza later, I was less then enchanted. The grease and sluggishness~ yuck. My seven year old said it was gross and didn’t finish it (it was the same pizza she loved 10 days prior) and my eleven year old complained of a stomach ache after dinner.

I am not going to lie, there is a part of me that is irritated. Irritated that my old familiar recipes and ways of eating around here have been all messed up. I sometimes want to live in a world where driving through Taco Bell and eating that fourth late night meal of the day is fun and delicious and yes even nutritious. However, even as I type that I find that to be a fairly odd statement to even make on many levels.

God made our bodies and He made such incredible food for them. Getting as close to eating what He created to nourish the body He created ~ it just makes sense. We are committed to to do our best to continue on this path, for the long haul.

I haven’t stepped on a scale in 34 days.

Why? It’s a God thing.

I have made TONS of progress with my health goals. TONS. On Dec 31st I sat ready to kick it into high gear and lose the remaining 25 pounds. I sat on Jan 31st surprised and frustrated that yet again all of these negative self deprecating feelings were overwhelming me. I thought we had kicked this, or at least for the most part. Not only had high gear not come, but I was feeling so very defeated. Two steps short of hopeless. How did I get back here? Time keeps slipping by in order to reveal my goals unreached. What is the problem?

Instead of searching for a new program, or a new routine, I stopped and prayed. God clearly said, “Why don’t you try trusting me? After all I am the one who made you.” I had the immediate nagging still small voice to put the scale away and put down my trusty Exerspy for awhile.

I didn’t sleep much that night. I did a lot of tossing and turning and arguing.

That can’t be right. Why would God want me to do that?

Thou Shall have no other God’s before me. Exodus 20:3

Am I taking this whole food thing to a overly religious level?

What’s the price of two or three pet canaries? Some loose change, right? But God never overlooks a single one. And He pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail-even numbering the hairs on your head! So don’t be intimated by all this bully talk. You’re worth more than a million canaries.” Luke 12:7

What if I end up and gaining 30 pounds?

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like. James 1:22-24

What if…What if…What if….

“You have circled this mountain long enough, NOW turn North.” Deut 2:3

In spite of a sleepless night and doubts of epic proportion, I began the next day. That was 34 days ago. I can tell you that it has been SO TOUGH. Not because I gave up the scale or the Exerspy. Because I gave up control. I have been fighting every stinkin’ piece of baggage that I carry. It seems that every issue and every negative voice and every challenge are bombarding me from all sides. I am panicking because I am not making the progress that I want to see on my time table. I am panicking because I have to trust someone else. One would think that I would be fine trusting the Creator of the EN~tire universe, but alas I am not so good at it. Apparently, my trust issues run deep. I feel like I am falling with nothing to hold on to.

I do so desperately want to hang on to Jesus. It is a skill and a choice that in this area, I struggle with. I have no doubt that the Lord  did ask me to give up my tools because I was relying on them far more than Him. There is nothing wrong with the scale or any type of tracking system. I believe that they help keep us accountable and should be used. However, they need their proper place. Every day this seems to get a little bit easier. God left the Israelites wandering in the dessert for 40 years until they learned to trust. Let’s hope it doesn’t take me that long.

I knew that my challenge in the area of my health was wrapped up in control issues. I have had issues in this area my whole life. When everything else became something I couldn’t control, my weight became something I could and eating disorders developed. I have always known logically that control was the issue. Now I am seeing it from a front row seat. Every day is a struggle, sometimes every minute. Not because I want any one thing in particular, well except that elephant in the room we like to call control. It feels so awkward to give it up. This must be where the phrase a fish out of water comes from.

It seems that God working in my life resembles peeling an onion. Thank God we have a patient God. One who doesn’t give us more than we can handle and one who equips us to handle what we have been given.  One who stays by our side as we conquer layer after layer after layer through His ever present help.

At the start of reading Made to Crave, Lysa TerKeurst talks about this journey being a spiritual journey with great physical benefits. That statement could not be more true for me. Praise Him for both.

God wants our everything. It’s all about putting God first. Weight, exercise, body image, and food just happen to be the vehicles that I have grasped onto for control. So now every time I eat, every time I start to feel F A T, every time I start to feel worthless, every time I want to overachieve…I begin to pray, or at least I try. God and I have been chatting a lot these days. I’m thinkin’ of getting us BFF necklaces or somethin’.

I am pretty sure that this is the way our relationship is supposed to be. If my lifelong struggle in this area brings me into deeper relationship with Him. Then lets just say Praise God and continue to move forward.

I have been very open about my journey in this area and it has been nothing short of inspiring to me to see the number of people who have contacted me and said that they understand EXACTLY what I am going through. I have struggled for 34 days with not wanting to write this particular post. This post hits into the uncomfortable stage for me. Big time. I actually had decided to keep all this part to myself because really while blogging is all fun and good and everything there is a point right? Then I read this:

“You have stories. All of you. So many of you have written and told me your stories. Your heartache. Your triumphs. The pages of your book. Tell them. Tell your stories. There are a lot more books to be written, and so many of you have it in you. Let’s change the world, okay? Let’s turn pain into beauty, let’s celebrate humor and love and inspiration. Let’s share the things that make us come alive, and let’s listen when others are sharing theirs. Let’s jump in streets.” ~ Kelle Hampton.

*For more context, read her whole post here"

So, I decided to embrace the exposed, and the awkward, and the vulnerable cuz that’s how I’m gonna roll. There is beauty in frailty. It’s healing.

The goal is at the end of every day, I can lay my head on the pillow and say…”I was faithful to what God asked me to do in the area of my health.”

I will continue to learn to leave the rest up to Him.

That’s the way its supposed to be.

and with a pounding heart I will hit publish….

“Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did. “

~Newt Gingrich

“Difficult things take a long time, impossible things a little longer. “

~André A. Jackson

“Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.”

I achieved a huge personal milestone this morning. I finished the couch to 10k program.

My longest distance to date is 7.1 miles.

I can not help but wonder how many miles I have run since October, when I began running. When I started, my first 60 second stretch felt like an eternity. I am not even sure at the end of those “runs” you could qualify what I was doing actually running. There was some up and down movement that did resemble a trot, so I suppose it did count. Today my run, at 40 minutes, had me wondering why the last run of the program was so short.

I can run now AND talk at the exact same time. I am no longer gasping for air as if my very life is dependent on the breath I am elusively trying to find. I may have or have not even belted out a few bars of Beyonce WHILE running.

 I love progress.

I have developed a love of running that has surprised me. I am not even sure why I like it, let alone love it. I mean in reality it isn’t even fun. It can hurt and its hard. However, somehow it carries over into my day to day and makes me realize that I am strong. I can do. I can accomplish.

Fresh air, loud music, the pavement, and the words of Jillian always in the back of my mind. “Unless you puke, faint, or die, keep going.” A somewhat crass life mantra.

One of the best quotes on Pinterest lately is

“If you still look cute at the end of a work out, you didn’t train hard enough.”

Well I think it is safe to say…..I. Trained. Hard. Enough.

I mean why does my hair resemble the top of a loaf of Home Pride bread? Honestly.

What’s next? Why a half marathon, of course. It’s in July. Its a moonlight run and everyone who finishes gets a glow in the dark medal. I mean, if that isn’t incentive enough to train, I just don’t know what is.

Despite my phobia of being in front of the camera, the hugeness of this milestone today had to be documented and shared.

Both after my last steps and my grand entrance home which was immediately followed by my grand flop on my bed.

I can do all things because Christ gives me the strength.

Philippians 4:13