I am not a huge reader….but there are times. I read an amazing book a couple of months ago and I actually just ordered my SECOND book of the year. PLAN B is on it’s way to me from Amazon and I am quite certain it was written directly for me right now. The first few sentences had me captivated. Anyway, back to the first book I read this year. LOVING OUR KIDS ON PURPOSE was recommended highly somewhere in blog land (I forget where), so I ordered it. It truly is worth your time. It focuses on your relationship with your children and not simply the rules. The bottom line of what I took out of it was to train your children up in a way that they WANT to make the right choices. The author gives tons of examples of his own parenting style and I LOVE IT.
This family seems to be really big on giving the children choices, with consequences of course, but the children are free to make their own age appropriate choice. It may just be a spin on presentation sometimes, but it is powerful. Here is an example from my own experience.
I LOVE music. All kinds from Dixie Chicks to Frank Sinatra to Fergie. Since homeschooling, I find that I have little ears around ALL the time, six of them to be exact. I have been fairly careful about what the kids listen too, but it is hard when they hear it EVERYWHERE. The commercials alone on tv, even “children’s” stations, will educate them to songs that I would never dream of continuing to play. 107.9 THE END is the radio station around here that plays all the top 100 type songs. Really I am sounding like a true “mom”, but when was the last time you have actually listened to some of the lyrics? I know for me, it’s really easy to NOT sometimes. I have tried to avoid the YOU CAN’T LISTEN TO THIS SONG commandment and try to slyly just change the station instead, but those days are long gone.
A couple of weeks ago we were going somewhere in the car. I had all three kids with me. WOMANIZER by Britney Spears came on. Now my 10 year old is usually the total rule follower, ultra conservative, and very compliant. However, recently she has started to sufficiently protest about why she can’t listen to certain music. This day was no different. I changed the radio station to a different song and she spoke up from the back about what a great song it was and why she should be able to listen to it. The typical parent~almost preteen conversation followed. “No you can’t” “why not” “because I said so” “I just like the beat” “I don’t care, it’s an awful song” and then it got interesting…”What’s it about, anyway” I decided to change my tactic. “ok. I am going to explain what this song is really singing about and then you can decide if it’s something that you think we should be listening to.”
Utter joy on her face as she knew she was about to succeed in proving her mom wrong.
“A womanizer is a man who likes all kinds of women and wants to have sex with them all.”