Lost & Found

“Girl, you’ve lost yourself, is the thing….” she says to me.

I’m so grateful that I have friends who dive to deep waters with me. Staying in the shallow misses most everything that matters and they know that too. Friends that stick with me through uncomfortable times, not matter how long it takes. Ones who don’t just see what they can get out of a friendship, but are more concerned about giving. Literal precious gems. I do not take them for granted.

I’ve known this fact for some time. In fact, I’ve been playing my own game of, “where the crap did you go” for months because somewhere recently I felt like the waters did overtake me. I couldn’t shake the fog. I couldn’t get back on my feet. And for a girl who loves control, it terrified me. I felt like life had swallowed me whole. The me that I thought I was, was gone and every sign of familiarity and comfort was no where to be found. The Lord used the enormous space in my life that a cross country move provided, to get a hold of super deep places of my heart. When you find the end of yourself you have two choices. Give up. OR. Get up…..I chose the latter and, I am winning, because He makes me brave. Our God is so very very capable.

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*photos from the gorgeous shores of Lake Tahoe, last summer. 

I have been through a season of  deep loss and I have written about it before AND I have kept quiet about it before. Because I want to say everything is easy and great, but many times I can’t, so I have said nothing at all. That’s a huge bummer because God’s timing is superior and when you continue to put one foot in front of the other, you will get front row seats to watch Him do His thing. Healing. And the impact is in the journey. Lately, I have been so unbelievably fired up by the power in our stories. Every. Single. Dang. one. of. us.

Tell it. However, your way is. Tell it.

Look for what Jesus is doing. Don’t miss it. And then shout it. #preachingtomyself

July 19th, 2015.

It became a crossroad in my life. A message that God used to extend Himself to me, to say, “listen chick, I see where you are, where you have been and I know how brutal it was. BUT get up, dust off your backside and let’s go.” {I am not sure the God of the universe actually says chick, but I kinda like to think we are close enough terms that He does.}

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But you know what the get up and follow Jesus means? Following Him when you don’t get it. Total denial of yourself. Letting go of the people who have wounded you. Living free, yet scarred. Letting go of the way things were. Letting go of all of your hopes, dreams, and desires. Letting go of it all. Giving it all to Him and trusting. He is boss and He might have a change of plans for your life. It will be better than ok.

I have been a Christian now since 1978. God works in layers. At my young age of 44, a lot has been peeled away. While none of these things are new thoughts or beliefs to me, so much life has occurred that it really puts you to the test. Kinda like this…imagine you are on a diet. You desire to eat healthy. One day you enter a room full of ice cream. No biggie, you hate ice cream. You can still stay true to your commitment to eat healthy, no problem. Next day, you enter a room full of brownie dough and all the pizza. Those are your kryptonite. Then what’s it gonna be? Where is your resolve? Did you really mean you want to be healthy? When the rubber meets the road, so to speak, will you stay true to your commitment?

It is easy to follow Jesus, close our eyes, raise our hands when things are comfy. BUT when the day comes that you can’t find anything comfy, what then? You have a very big choice.

So, I shed ridiculous amounts of tears and grabbed my saviors hand in a new way on July 19th, 2015, and we got up. AND everything isn’t perfect. BUT perspective changes everything. Jesus changes everything. Recognizing God takes what was meant to harm you and switches it around to benefit you in ways you could never have dreamed up yourself? Literally, a breathtaking journey. One I am deeply humbled to be on. One I am excited to see what God does with all of this in the future. Because the thing is I am not lost. I am still here and the waters of this life may have in fact swallowed me whole, but the one who created everything has Had me the whole time.

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Be an early spiritual adopter. Do not wait until things are perfect to talk about what God “did”. It’s easy looking back to talk about it. Let’s talk about His promises that WILL BE FULFILLED even when you can’t in heaven’s name see how. Pray. Praise. Proclaim. That’s how you thrive.

It’s all about Jesus.

Shout it.

 

 

 

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2 Responses to Lost & Found
  1. Deb Plaskett
    March 13, 2016 | 12:08 pm

    Darcy, those words you wrote could have come straight from my life!! I’ve soooo been there, and honestly, a lot of days, I still am. Thank you for your vulnerability. God BLESS you…

    Love and hugs~

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