That One Valentines Day

So there was this massive prayer and decision and looking at plan a through z campaign going on last week. At the end of the day my husband and I just decided that it would be best for me to stay home and not attend the services for Joany in California this weekend. He would go and we would stay. All of the options broke my heart, quite frankly, and it was very mostly due to the fact that she was no longer here and we were planning to go to her memorial service. Anyway, I have to say that I am just downright bummed that I couldn’t go and trying to continue to trust that God knows best and there is a reason why I was not to be there. So with a very heavy heart I went about my week. It included an overnight work trip for my hubby and 24 hours after his return from that, I put him on a plane to California to stay with my parents and attend Joany’s services. Somehow, we managed to sneak in our annual family meal with papa murphy’s heart shaped pizza in the afternoon for his plane departed at 6 pm.

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On the way home from the airport reality jumped in my front seat and hit me hard. The reality that I was alone with the kids in Missouri. Missouri. You know because I live here now and all. I know I am not really alone because our new church family has sucked us in huge and I love that. However, at that moment, I felt very much alone. Sometimes the brain and heart need more time to get on the same page. I think my toddler knows when he can get stuff from me. He promptly asked for ice cream for dinner. Done. I had an hour long drive home. A lot of thinking time, too much. I was hit to the core of my being what it means to give everything to Jesus. Giving him your loved ones and trusting Him. I don’t understand why Joany had to die. I wish she and Ron could live out their lives together enjoying each other and their children and grandchildren. I don’t get it. She was just 60. However I was reminded of a sermon I heard many years ago. It went something like this….why would you serve a God that you understood everything He did. Doesn’t His ways HAVE to be higher than yours to be worth following? Or something like that… Terrible translation but the reality is we serve a God that is far above our understanding and that should not make us doubt and fear, but rather trust deeper. He’s got it all. He knows what He is doing. He makes all things beautiful in His time, as the song goes.

vday3

Anyway, I arrive home on this Valentines Day alone in my house with my four kids. Ready for bedtime for the little, computer for the oldest, and Anne of Green Gables for the middles. A late night of chick flicks and a cozy fire. I was completely ready to get lost in Avonlea. I set my toddler down on the ground and he promptly slipped on some ice and smacked face first to the ground. Instinctively I ran to him to pick him up and in doing so I slip and begin to fall. While trying to catch myself I trip again on a 2 inch raised area between the driveway and the garage. It was enough to send me sprawling. After several incredibly ungraceful steps to try and regain balance I manage to lose the fight and lose big. Everything in my hands went flying up and I went down. I still have no idea how I landed. However, the next thing I knew I was on my back laying in dirt and oil in a garage in Missouri unable to breathe because the wind had been knocked out of me. You know that moment after a fall where you are all, please don’t let anything be broken. I lay there waiting and moving limbs and hoping. My left elbow, and both knees clearly were the casualties. Along with my trusty iPhone. Shattered. Obliterated.

vday4

My 15 year old is a rock star. Calm as can be took the baby inside. The girls started to ask a million questions and in a voice strangely similar to mine he took THAT tone and said, “take the baby, NOW”. He ran and got snow to put on my elbow which was swelling rapidly. I’m not going to lie. I cried and reached out for my son’s hand to comfort me and in the middle of all of this as if my heart wasn’t in enough pieces you know what I realized? With that hand grasp, I think I entered the next stage of life. A baby step towards when you move into a two way relationship. I needed him and he came through.

And let me lay it all out for you because I have no shame. I had to go to the bathroom really bad when I arrived home from the airport. Somehow in this fall I basically peed my pants. Like I slammed so hard it made my bladder stop working properly? What the heck. So not only am I laying on the floor in oil and dirt, hurting, and lonely in Missouri being comforted by my 15 year old. I am also laying there and came to the realization that I have just peed my pants for the first time since preschool. Awesome. So now I have no dignity, so you might as well cry it out ugly style because now I am absolutely certain I am going to have to start wearing depends at 42 years of age. This must be rock bottom of complete humiliation….and if it wasn’t I have just put myself there by sharing that information.

vday5

So upon further investigation, My elbow now had basically two elbows it was so dang swollen. My left knee is swollen, pants are ripped, and my right knee is cut. After I change my clothes and throw my pants in the garbage, I come downstairs and my kids get me various bags of frozen vegetables for ice packs and my son brings me alieve and instructs me to take it and I obey…and after googling has diagnosed me with a severed nerve and a broken elbow. Fabulous. He gets his overdramatic from me, just in case you missed that.

vday2

Nothing was broken I assure you. I am sore today. Bleh. In reality the fall was again another straw, that poor camel. People fall. Ice is slippery.

So, yeah, that was my Valentine’s Day. Gimmie a break.

“Hey remember that Valentine’s Day that dad was in California and mom fell in the garage and peed her pants.”

There, thought I would say it first.

Hope your day was a wee bit better than mine. Tell me about it. Redeem Valentines Day  2014. For the love of cupid and all his minions tell me one thing about yours that was better than mine…

I beg you.

 

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11 Responses to That One Valentines Day
  1. Stephanie H
    February 15, 2014 | 7:11 pm

    I just love you, Darcy. You are such rad person and you’re downright hilarious.

    My valentine’s day consisted of Tangled and a dance party with my mother.

    I hope that mental image brought a chuckle. Because seeing my mother do the twist, the pony, the disco and many other of sorts was hysterical.

    🙂 Hope to see you all soon, because I miss all of you greatly.

  2. Rikki
    February 15, 2014 | 7:20 pm

    Oh Darcy. So so sorry. My Valentine’s Day was pretty boring compared to yours. Seriously, nothing stands out. You won’t soon forget yours!

  3. Becki
    February 15, 2014 | 10:34 pm

    Hugs and thanks and prayers! I just typed a long witty reply only to loose it so just know you brought me to tears, filled my heart with much needed God wisdom and finished off with a giggle – thanks for being you and sharing it with the world.

  4. Sandi
    February 16, 2014 | 12:29 am

    I’m in a hotel room with my daughter, her bestie, and bestie’a mom. Lights are out and everyone is trying to go to sleep and I’m trying to not completely bust out laughing. Oh dear friend. You are something else!

    My valentine’s day? Hubby and I took all 4 teens and a girlfriend of one of our teens to Olive Garden for dinner. 45 minute wait with the rest of the population of Bend. Which meant instead of movies as 6:30 we saw movies at 9:30. Not everyone wanted to see the same movie so 7 of us ended up in 3 different theaters…whatever….my story doesn’t compare.

    Can’t top it. You win.

  5. Janice
    February 16, 2014 | 8:17 am

    Little do you know but I follow your blog and it gives me purpose and light!!! You are the only blogger that I follow because your heart and humility speaks to me. Even though we connected late during your stay in California…wishing that I knew you for a longer amount… but I think about the quality rather than the quantity. You really place quality in my life as I deepen my path with God. I have only known God for 9 years and it wasn’t until 2013 that I truly felt His essence and His embrace. In 2014, I will truly listen to Him like how you listen to Him. On my Valentines Day, He told me to give my heart to Him so I did. I only celebrated Valentines Day with Him. So Darcy… Even though you may not know, you continue to impact my life all the way from Missouri. I thank God for my relationship with you.

  6. tracy
    February 16, 2014 | 9:06 am

    Darcy,
    As always, you fill me with love, laughter, and tears as I read your blog. I wish you had a better Valentine’s day, but it will be one you will always remember when your relationship with Cameron switched from mom and son to mom to an amazing, caring young man. You are blessed with such wonderful children, or at least the ability to tell a great story about them!

    Keep your chin up. God has amazing plans for you. Love you girl!

  7. NaturallyCarly
    February 16, 2014 | 9:12 am

    Darcy!
    Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry for your fall…and for the heaviness of your heart leading up to the fall. What a sweet family you have to take such good care of you. Praying for you during your transition.

  8. Kyra
    February 16, 2014 | 1:30 pm

    You are a great story teller. I laughed out loud while reading this. I’m thankful you don’t have broken bones and that you can be real with us all. It came to mind my mother’s voice reminding me to always have on a pair of clean underwear. I’m still laughing.

  9. Diane Nikfar
    February 16, 2014 | 1:38 pm

    You are the best, Darcy! Thanks for being real. My Valentine’s day was so different but God was in it all. I was hoping for fun, romance,dinner out,cards, maybe flowers and fun with friends…. what I got was to make a homemade Valentine for one of my patients (93) and her family,text my kids and some friends Valentine’s greetings. Got a call from a man that I dated and loved for many years….which was comforting, and filled a question in my heart because _he_ called. I had planned to do errands, and go home but ended up getting gas for the car, and KNOWING that God had a plan for me to be at church serving food at the senior’s Valentine’s dinner and movie that night. So I went. In the morning, I didnt really want to go. I thought I would feel lonely, miserable,bereft,and pretty messed up inside. (God tempered the day with more loving texts,and eValentines from friends, a suprise chocolate heart, good coffee.)During my errands, the idea didnt seem so bad,so I prayed about it a little. By 540pm, I knew I was going, and actually looked forward to it, knowing how sweet the people are, knowing how much of a family the group is, knowing it would be fun and meaningful. It was wonderful. God met us all, right where we were. couples, singles, widowed, divorced…everyone was loved, everyone belonged, everyone was together and had a great evening eating pizza, salad, Hagen-Dasz ice cream bars (and homemade blueberry pie<if you had any room left.) We saw the Pixar movie,"Up!" Which made us all laugh, cry, ponder and be thankful for our loved ones, and (very) extended families. God gives us exactly what we need. I drove home thank-full, knowing I am loved, and part of a very big, wonderful family. Happy Valentine's Day,Darcy! Love to you and shawn and those wonderful, I mean WONDERFUL kids! Diane

  10. Cara Yeh
    February 17, 2014 | 2:25 pm

    I know this can’t really happen, but I pray this comment will jump out of the screen and be a BIG hug to you!

  11. Tiffany
    February 17, 2014 | 3:21 pm

    Tears– so sad that your first holiday in MO was like that. I thought mine was bad b/c we didn’t do anything to celebrate Valentine’s this year {and my husband fell asleep before 10pm…}. *In fact, the highlight of my night was when a facebook friend updated her status to confess that she’s always thought the holiday was cheesy & not worth her time– that *Seriously made my night! (especially after a-l-l of the photos of my friends who had showered their kids with gifts!!…) 😉

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