The List.

I have been trying to blog for a few days now but my head is too full. You know, the “oh look a squirrel” thing…So, I resort to a list. A fancy name for a bunch of random thoughts, in no particular order.

1.ย This, written by my husband to our church family.

For eight years my family and I have had the honor of serving Impact and being part of this community. I have had the joy of being your Worship Pastor. I have always desired to be right in the center of God’s will for my life. Over the past year the Lord has been working in me, challenging me and, we believe, calling us to trust Him with our future. In light of this, we have come to the decision it is time to step out and ย trust God for what is next. We are excited and anxious, but we are confident. ย God is leading us this way and we ask for your prayers as we begin this journey. Thank you for allowing me the joy of leading you in worship of our God. It has been one of the most meaningful times of my life.

2. Where we are heading next.

I don’t know.ย It’s a scary place to be with four little ones. An end date to a salary without a firm date for your new one. Humanly, my brain doesn’t like this. But you know what? I have the raddest friends on the planet. Ever. They’ve offered me shoulders to cry on and their faith to borrow when mine isn’t strong enough. He is leading us on this path and our God is greater. He will take care of us. If we end up in a van down by the river, I shall get a disco ball for the interior.

3. Speaking of my friends.

Oh my word. I tell you my heart was on overload today. Four of my favorite-est girls all came to church this morning to sit by my side as my husband announced to our congregation our upcoming departure. It’s been years since I sat along side these girls all together at the same time and it made me happy me in a way I can’t explain. We group hugged like teenagers because that’s awesome. They are the best. Just. the. best. and I love them like sisters.

girls

4. My God.

He has orchestrated this week in a way that only He can. There are no words to really explain how He does it. He fills the gaps and raises me up and sends me friendly Trader Joe’s workers to tell me I have gorgeous eyes, right after I sat in the parking lot and cried them all out. He places the sales clerk at the curriculum store who tells me, “character training is the most important. Your kids are watching how you handle life. History and geography? That’s the easy stuff. The gravy.”

5. He stretches me.

I have wrestled with deep questions for the last couple of weeks like you do in a time of crisis. It is easy when you have been raised in the church to sing the songs, raise your hands, and nod an amen. But do I mean them?

Where You go, I’ll go. When You move, I’ll move.

Sure I meant that. Because before that meant…my gorgeous house, my comfortable life. I’ll do that. I’ll move when He moves {as long as it’s comfortable}.

Now, it means a lot more. A move out of state? Away from my family and friends? A new surrounding? What if no one likes me? What if my kids don’t connect? What if there are tornados? or no Hobby Lobbys? I mean seriously. A whole bunch of unknowns.

6. God’s got this.

I hear that A LOT these days and while I know that with my head, it is just a reality that- that doesn’t mean I will immediately like what His plan is. Surrender. Faith. Prayer. His will, be my desires. I pray they are one in the same. I pray that no matter what lies ahead in the next year that my faith stays unwavering. That He uses the junk and the fabulous for His glory. That His name be lifted higher.

7. Surrender.

The theme of my life lately. This period I am entering is certainly no different. I just moved to the most gorgeous home ever that felt like home the second I walked through the door. My landlords/friends live next door and my kids reference them as their other grandparents and we love them a lot. Seriously, we just settled.

“God, you couldn’t mean this was just a temporary thing, right”.

sunset

*straight off my phone. can you even imagine the beauty of heaven.

8. Sadness.

The thought of leaving my people here in California makes me crazy sad. Like rip your heart out sad.

8. Excitement.

The thought of putting my family in a u haul and heading East {because West would require a boat} makes me giddy. A great big adventure awaiting. A whole big world out there.

9. Confusing.

How do you feel such intense overwhelming and conflicting emotions at the same time? It is so hard. Our house has suddenly turned into an emotional roller coaster. Five of us are on a different track and the baby is just mostly cute. While there is intense sadness in all of our hearts, there is a seed of excitement that I see in my children that only comes from God.

10. Peace.

Remember that song from a jillion years ago. I’ve got peace like a river, I’ve got peace like a river, I’ve got peace like a river in my soul. {if you were a church goer in the eighties please remember that you would put your high top up in the air on that last line as to represent the word soul. See what we did there? Soul, sole? The eighties were cool.}

11. The practical.

I haven’t even finished my school room. Should I? School is being reevaluated. Is the higher priced, hands on curriculum, I just started really the right choice for right now? Should I switch? How do I get up and do school when I want to lay in bed and hug my pillow?

12. Integrity

I’ve been reminded just how very much my husband has.

13. The real.

I fed my kid ice cream and pancakes from McDonalds for breakfast. In. rain. boots. And if that wasn’t enough to impress you with my mothering skills, I picked dried cornflakes out of his hair this morning and put him in the car seat for church AND then dropped him off for three services without a diaper bag. And you know what I have learned after four children? Some days…that is enough.

icecream

14. It’s fall.

Somehow this all just seems easier with a pumpkin spice candle burning and my fuzzy leopard slippers on my feet.

15. It’s on.

Mostly I am just inspired right now. Living in that profound state where you just realize how much everything matters. In the depth of my soul I am overwhelmingly grateful for the people we have had the pleasure to meet in this chapter of our life. In the last eight years I have been pushed to my limits on every emotion one possesses. It’s been a time of incredible joys, trials, and growth.

Life is like that.

And we press forward.

Reveal Your heart Lord Jesus, even now.

 

 

 

 

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16 Responses to The List.
  1. Temre
    October 7, 2013 | 5:12 am

    Darcy your words are just as powerful as Shawn’s singing. A little, no big piece of me hopes that your next move is here to Cedar park so that I can worship with your family and serve with Shawn and see your beautiful children lead other children into the arms of God. I wish you and your family the best as you adventure out. If you need help with moving east let me know, I’m still unpacking for our move in June. I will be praying for you. xoxo

  2. Rikki
    October 7, 2013 | 5:43 am

    Wow, big changes. I am learning that my weakness is key so I’ll encourage you that God has you. The bigger the unknown and the inadequate, the more space God has to move. And He does not disappoint. Keep us posted! Love you!

  3. Cathy
    October 7, 2013 | 6:00 am

    Don’t forget – you could always move north!

  4. Heidi (Dearly Loved Mist)
    October 7, 2013 | 6:19 am

    Michigan. Grand Rapids, specifically. You could move there. Just sayin’. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    I’ll be praying for your family!
    And I may just have to do the whole ice cream and pancakes from McDonalds someday in honor of you. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Tracy
    October 7, 2013 | 6:47 am

    Oh how my heart breaks, and rejoices!, in your new endeavors. I greatly fear change and so I admire how you are tackling it head on. I know you and your family will always be great because of your strong faith. No matter where you go, where you live, you will be home. I am honored to have worked with you both and I can only hope a small part of both of you have rubbed off on me, because for that, I will have been made better. You are an amazing woman. I can’t wait to hear all about your new adventures. Thank God for the internet so we can remain in touch!! God bless you and your wonderful family. Love you!

  6. Janet Beaver
    October 7, 2013 | 8:16 am

    Yes, you could move north … Sequim, Washington … just as an example.

    Our God is awesome and great. He will guide you, as you so shared so very well in your post. I’ll be praying for clarity of His vision for you, Shawn and your family.

    I’m proud of you, and send my love.

  7. Jaime Searles
    October 7, 2013 | 9:02 am

    Giving it all up, following God’s plan without many answers, this is where we find peace! Trust me when I say we get it.. We moved to Iowa! They have tornadoes here, but also a Hobby Lobby ;). We followed God and He lead us to a place that has been an absolute blessing! Following God where He leads is the best thing we can do, especially as our littles watch. Is it easy? Not always. Is it lonely? Some times. Is it exactly what we should have done? Absolutely! Praying for you, my friend! Keep following and He will not disappoint! ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Hillarie Garnier
    October 7, 2013 | 9:48 am

    When God moved me from my hometown, over 3,000 miles away to the opposite ocean, I thought my life was over. Turns out, it was truly where it began. Embrace change girl. Sometimes it brings new things that take your breath away!

    And if you’re talking moves. . . NC is heaven on earth. Just sayin. . . .

  9. Georgia Soares
    October 7, 2013 | 11:06 am

    Darcy, it sounds like such a bitter sweet situation. Sweet because you KNOW God is leading and you are obeying (no matter how bad it hurts), and yet bitter because of the roots you have grown, knowing things are going to change. I can hear the pain in your words, and you are handling this beautifully! He has ordained all our days and His plan for you and your family is for good and not bad, to give you a hope and a future. I know you already know that though! ๐Ÿ™‚ I will be praying for you guys!!

  10. Laure Covert
    October 7, 2013 | 11:38 am

    Harrisburg, Pennsylvania! just saying! See….. we all want you – even those of us who are taking you “sight unseen”. I love The List and yes, it certainly has an underlying theme that is NOT random. Just like our God is NOT random. ๐Ÿ™‚ As you continue to write your blog, just, please, tell me more about this particular journey ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. Tiffany
    October 7, 2013 | 6:02 pm

    We will be praying for you all in your days of new adventure.~
    –From a life-long Alabama girl {of the eighties} who has always desired to relocate but seems to simply be stuck where i am…. Would love for you to join my town, too!! ๐Ÿ˜€

  12. Cara Yeh
    October 8, 2013 | 12:52 pm

    Um… no wonder blogging is tough. Wow. Great post as always, friend… I can’t wait to hear about the awesome places God is going to take your family! I can’t imagine all the emotions — many blessings to you and your family as you live out your faith!

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