The Crib

“Why are you crying, mom?” she says as she enters my toddler’s room. “I’m just rearranging and baby proofing in here because his crib is coming down soon. It’s a mom thing. I put all four of you guys into this crib that your grandma and papa bought for us and this is the last time it will ever be used for one of my babies. It’s a little sad to me.” {WHICH was a total lie because it is a lot sad. Like eat a pound of chocolate and wear black for an entire decade kinda sad. The kind where I have to text one of my besties and say “you’ve been through this, I will survive, right?”. My 12 year old can wait to realize this part of motherhood, I decide.}

“Unless”….I perk up.

“I’ll save it and then when you guys start having babies maybe I will have an extra room in my house and can set it up again for your babies to sleep in when they come over to party with grandma!!!” I have a moment of triumph and then…

HALT.

Wait just a minute.

Grandma?

I had a sickening revelation that I am the grandma in this scenario and that these days are not really THAT far off. The tears begin again, mixed with laughter, and the confession to my 12 year old that I am struggling lately with the speed in which time is choosing to fly.

The crib came down.

With heart ache quite deep and plenty of cuddling and savoring the moment of the last shred of babyhood I could find in my boy. We rocked, he hugged me, he patted my face, he wiped one of my tears. God is so great and my baby boy is so dang precious.

Then I made the choice to celebrate.

1-2-3 YEAH..chubby hands over head, we all cheered with him.

“You want a big boy bed?”, I ask? He says yes to which his answer is to just about everything. He has no idea what a big boy bed is, but I need somebody in this scenario to be excited he’s getting one.

“I want more” he says.

1-2-3 YEEEAAAHHH…again and again.

We repeat 602 times. The exact amount I need to remind me.

He had no idea what he was celebrating, but I do not want to live my life living in what is no more. So, when all else fails and it is hard to find your happy, throw your hands up in the air and yell.

The first haircut, transition to the big boy Sunday School room (complete with the craft he brought home), the move to the toddler bed…

all beautiful steps of growing up.

Diapers, pacis, and bottles are disappearing in my home and talks of high school days are beginning. Having a 2 year old and a 14 year old simultaneously is quite interesting. It makes me conscious and present of what is to come and how fast time does go.

Then today I read this.

Last Bites.

We are having plenty of those last bites around here these days it seems. They are so delicious, but the new chapter will be too.

Finding the good…it’s everywhere.