Insanity. A Real And A Little Bit Harsh Of A Post.

There is something to be said about diary style blogging. It may be “nicer” to have gone through something and then write about it when it’s done. You can be careful to insert the necessary and leave out the messy. That’s not really what is going on here. I am on this journey. This is my tale as it happens. I’ve had some huge discoveries in the last couple of months and they are messy and convicting for me.

Insanity. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. ~Albert E.

I read that the night before I began Insanity, the actual program. I thought it curious because here I was “geared up” for another intensive program. Part of it just didn’t feel right. I have done many programs, without the results I want. What was going to be different this time? I’m still missing something. I shrugged a shoulder and progressed anyway.

I recently finished Insanity. I did the first eight weeks, every work out and then on week 9, I stopped. I did it knowingly and I am o.k. with that right now. With my husband off work that week and it being the week after Christmas I decided to take a break. I am happy with the dedication I had and changes in my body that Insanity gave me. The results were indeed not completely what I wanted, but I did not complete the nutrition side up to where it should have been. The results not coming the way I wanted should be expected. The program itself is awesome and I have no doubt will achieve results if you do ALL OF IT.

It’s a funny named program. Appeals to the all or nothing types and probably seems ridiculous to the others? I am not sure. BUT one thing is I don’t really find it all that “insane”. Insane would be working out for like 8 hours a day. Then lets talk crazy. I’ll even buy you the cup of coffee for our chat. Insanity workouts in month 2 average 60 minutes, even less in month one. I don’t find that excessive really. It’s intense, yes, crazy hard. Insane, I don’t think so. Hard work outs for sure. Results are measured by the effort you put in. Great results requires hard effort. I loved it and am repeating it. Don’t let the name of it scare you away. Bottom line is I think most tools on the market are effective to some degree. You gotta find the ones you like. Like Beachbody says…Decide, Commit, Succeed.

Every step in this life long journey to better health is important. Every lesson learned {and there have been a ton for me} is part of the big picture. Once I dedicated myself to doing this the “right” way and seeking after God’s direction rather than the best quick fix that I could get my hands on, I began seeing results that had me on the road to lasting changes. The last couple of weeks have been incredibly intense in my own heart and head.

The thing I have realized most importantly is this:

*insert harshness*

We don’t get to decide what we are willing to do, do that, and then complain that the results are not what we want or are unfair. God set this gig up. He’s got it covered. In fact, the more I learn about real food (the food God made) the more in awe I am about God. The foods He made are truly incredible. The ones man has made, not so much.

We can not decide we don’t want to feel deprived, not eat the right portions, and then get upset and pray for His help. He must be sitting on the throne going, are you kidding me? It’s kinda like standing in the freeway in the fast lane and praying for His protection.

We can not eat a diet filled with processed food, sugar, caffeine and then complain about being tired.

We don’t get to run ourselves ragged and fill our lives so full of activity that we say “I just don’t have time to work out today” and then get upset because our pants stop fitting.

We also don’t get to decide that we are going to beat our bodies in submission to look perfect in our eyes and today’s standards and neglect every other responsibility in order to achieve that.

Our health must certainly take its rightful place. God gave us these bodies and we are to take care of them. He designed them so we need to take care of them HIS way not the way that we decide that we are willing to do it. The answer on how to take care of that requires the obvious information that we all know. Eat the right things. Eat less. Move more. Etc. Etc.

A lack of knowledge is certainly not the reason that way over half of Americans are obese.

*harshness over*

In total annoyance the other night about something totally unrelated to my health, I seriously kinda threw that “GOD, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME? You are supposed to be helping me” thing out there. Loud and clear the response….Are you doing your part? My humble answer to that was no, actually I am not. That’s kinda important.

Then I quickly connected it to this health journey. It has been a long time. A life time of eating disorders now in my past, the time spent on recovery has been valuable, not wasted. I have learned so much and am so grateful with all the work that God has done in my heart. It’s all been necessary. However, the last piece has been that I don’t want to give up the ability to eat what I want when I want. That’s just the bottom line and it isn’t comfortable to say that out loud, in case you are wondering. I hate feeling controlled. I hate being accountable. It isn’t so much about the food. It’s internal.

Up until recently, I was not aware of this in my own life. It’s taken quite some time to see it.

I need to come on my knees before the throne of the one who made me. Give Him my all, daily. Recognize that this is a huge tool that Satan uses to knock people down and keep them in bondage, quite literally. Give God my heart, soul, calories, and confess my resistance to His control in my life.

You see the thing I figured out LOUD AND CLEAR is that I don’t get to define the rules and then decided if I am going to live by them. He defines them and I obey. It’s really fairly simple.

This is all a process that God will remain faithful in guiding us to the foot of the cross. Whatever your path looks like or wherever it takes you is unique to you. There is no one fix cure all to anything in life. If there is one outstanding lesson in all of this is Run to Jesus. 

To me, taking care of this body in modern day America, is super challenging. Laura Ingalls didn’t have Krispy Kremes and Mercedes to distract her. {If they did, I am certain that Almanzo and her woulda been joy ridin’ down the main street of Walnut Grove.}

A healthy lifestyle takes a lot of discipline. It many times isn’t fun. It many times hits very deep issues and baggage I have and makes me want to go fetal. It many times is just plain hard.

It has to be done.

Yep. It. Does.

Let’s encourage each other in truth and not excuses. Love each other enough to say it like it is. That’s why I love Jillian. She yells it out. I love her passion. Let’s be that for each other (perhaps minus the yelling and swearing). Remind each other of our goals and the expectations that God has for us to take care of our bodies, in love, and maybe more importantly in honesty.

I had a total stranger tell me last Saturday {while in the midst of a conversation about working out}~ You look fine. Thirty pounds to lose these days is really not all that bad. You should be happy with where you are, you are doing great. It would be quite easy for me to adapt to that standard. However, in my heart I know that isn’t right because I don’t want to give up control of this area of health. It’s an internal issue and a spiritual one. I have been resisting it for a long time, cloaked in so many excuses and circular reasoning. I’m done.

Besides I don’t wanna live a not all that bad life. I wanna life a freakin’ fantastic knock it out of the park one and my health is directly related to my ability to do that.

I feel like an onion.

God’s been peeling the layers away one by one by one for a long time. I keep thinking, “oh crap, there is more to deal with? For the love…”. I kinda feel like I’m at the center now. He’s shown me the truth just like I asked Him to.

This is it.

What are you gonna do with it?







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2 Responses to Insanity. A Real And A Little Bit Harsh Of A Post.
  1. Louanne
    January 15, 2013 | 7:23 pm

    my husband has lost about 100 pounds on this journey to get healthy. He has found he had some major health issues that were assisting in the weight gain and sleep issues he had. those are being taken care of now. So when people say “how did you do it? I could never do it. what’s the secret?”

    He says, “stop eating so much and work out 4 days a week.” and then they look defeated. I always laugh because it’s the same old thing Americans have heard for years and yet when you have to actually do it to see results people act like it’s just too much. Do we like working out? Nope. Do we keep on going? Yep. Do we have to give up stuff we would like to eat and time that could go to something else? Yep. Do we keep on pushing through? Yep.

  2. Amy G
    January 16, 2013 | 7:52 am

    But I don’t want to exercise . . . . .
    Hee hee just kidding. I really do want to, I just need you to be my neighbor so you can motivate me- yell at me if need be. 🙂
    You truly are an inspiration! Love you friend!

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