This post is untimely for bringing holiday cheer. Now that we have that out of the way….
You know what is a miserable way to live? When nothing is ever good enough. I am recovering from that syndrome myself. I have spent most of my life never being satisfied with the outcome of something that I do. Always looking for how I can improve it the next time. It robs great joy. My heart just screams for the love of all that is good and holy in this world, BE HAPPY WITH SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!
o.k.? alrighty then.
Now, I fight it again because in a matter a few days now I will have completed Insanity. Fifty four workouts in sixty three days. I will have pressed play 54 times. Workouts ranging from 40-85 minutes. I have spent hours invested in making myself healthier. I have done fabulous, right? Well depends on who you ask :). I fell short of my goal. Again.
Really? um yeah, I did.
My nutrition choices did not match the success of my exercises. About week 3, I aborted the tracking process in regards to my weight and measurements. I am just not there yet. I can’t handle the numbers. They derail me and really I am doing the best I can and need to continue. It’s not like if the numbers are good I am going to stop working on my physical health. SO? for now they take a back burner. God is working so much on my insides, just like I asked Him too. It’s not as easy to measure that up in a nice little box.
I am going to focus on the positive. Just know that while I am writing this I am reliving the scene from Liar Liar where Jim Carrey is having a massive all out war in his office with his ballpoint pen. You know the one? The pen is b l u e. My fingers want to type out all of the things I need to improve on and where I fell short. While I think it is imperative to look at those things so that you can continue to move forward, the successes must be celebrated. Celebrated without the buts…. (That was kind of a fun sentence to write). You know? That was good but….. I am happy about it but……
Sometimes you gotta STOP THE BUTS…
This morning I had a mind numbing revelation. I woke up and as I often do I thought about my day yesterday in regards to fitness. I stayed up late and busted out my workout. It was a good one too. Yay! I was happy, but then I remembered that I did not count my calories or track my food all day and my countenance fell and failure feelings came flooding in. I hopped out of bed and thought I am going to stick with my first thought…happy about my work out. Wouldn’t it just be nice to live with that all day? I think I shall. Then I kinda stopped and realized how twisted that conversation was. What if I started my day every day feeling like a success? What would life be like if I truly viewed myself the way the God of the universe views me?
Wow. I think JUST MAYBE I should. We all should.
So, on a less deep note. Insanity rocks. My plan is to finish next week, take a recovery week and do some light running and swimming, and then repeat month 2. I also have started wearing my armband again. I was having major issues with getting it to work, so I switched over to Jillian Michaels to track my information. I heart her and her site is awesome.
I actually love the place I am in right now because I have found tools that I love. I really don’t think the secret is finding which fitness tool works because I think most of them do on some level. I think the trick is finding which one works for you. I think Shaun T and Jillian is a pretty good combo. The basics. No frills. No gimmicks. Hard work , heart, and head knowledge should be a winning combo.
The biggest thing I have learned during Insanity is how to work hard. I think so many times in life we feel pain, get uncomfortable and instinctively stop and run away. All of these drills in Insanity teach you how to stay in it. There is breaks but you push yourself beyond what you are capable of on a regular basis and it’s life changing. I promise.
I previewed the DVD months ago, laughed, and said I would never do Insanity. Now it’s my favorite. Go figure.
In spite of all the areas that I need to improve on, I love how I feel every single day. Every movement is easier, I feel my muscles, I have way more energy and I look forward to my nightly husband approved work out date with Shaun T and me.
I’m a fan.
I am 2 seconds away from buying a Shaun T hoodie.
and my favorite news? I now can do push ups like the big boys do…on your toes. Three in a row. I have never been able to do them like that, not in my whole life. So 3 is pretty spectacular, right?