Learning To Listen.

I have been a Christian for 34 years. Which almost shames me to say that because in that amount of time it seems I should have reached some sort of advanced stage of Christianity. I should have multiple capes hanging in my closet proving my super status. Instead with each passing year I realize my own sinful heart just a wee bit more.

Last summer, my journey towards physical health took a sharp turn towards spiritual health and my ability to let go and surrender each and every part of life to Jesus. Pretty incredible. Definitely painful.

I logically know that God cares about the BIG areas of my life and the SMALL ones. I have seen Him at work in my life and the lives of others for years. I know that. Why I had never asked Him for help about the body He created for me is kinda of baffling and borders on utter stupidity in my own opinion. Harsh maybe? True definitely.

All of that is changing. I have spent the last year doing little self inflicted challenges. It keeps me on track. It keeps me accountable. I like goals and I like completing them. Just recently, I have figured out after 34 years, that I should ask Jesus what those goals should be. I’m quick like that.

Recently I completed a 10 week challenge with a bunch of other ladies. It was a challenge to lose 20 pounds in those 10 weeks. I failed miserably in the goal that I set out for myself, but I learned another huge lesson that I needed to learn. Ask God. Stop deciding everything for myself. Ask God. Then obey what He says. The results will be the “right” ones because you obeyed and that is the most important thing. More important than any number that any scale, or tool, or machine can read for you because you stepped on it, let it pinch you, or laid on it submerged in water.

This is not an excuse to not use those for accountability purposes. This is the ramblings of a 40 year old woman who so desperately wants to walk with the very heartbeat of Jesus in sync with my own, that I told Him I would give Him everything. He asked me for those. When He did I panicked and then I saw just how very tightly I used them to measure my success or more often my failure. Over the last several weeks I have slowly unclenched my white knuckles and released my grasp.

This week while away on vacation the Lord answered me loud and clear. The question was, what now? I have learned so much about how to eat what this body needs, not what is convenient for me. I have learned that insane intense bursts of exercise don’t do much for me in the long run. I have learned much. Head knowledge is one thing and putting it into play is quite another. All the head knowledge in the world is not going to get me where I want to go.

So, I asked again. What now? He answered. I am embarking tomorrow on a 100 day challenge. It scares me quite frankly. I have done many challenges over the years, but the thing that is much different in this one is that I am answering something the Lord is asking me to do and something He is asking me to do His way and not mine. The lesson will be in that. Big time.

I have always kept spiritual things and eating things separate. Last summer was the first time that I combined them. I felt like the Lord had asked me to give up desserts, caffeine, and fast food for 12 weeks during a study I was leading, Made to Crave. It has been almost a year now and I have stuck with so much of what I have learned during that time. In fact, in just a few days it will be a year of caffeine free living for me. For me, that is huge. HUGE. When you do things His way. They work. He takes away cravings, He gives strength and endurance, He gives answers, and He gives peace.

So, beginning tomorrow on June 15th, I will go 100 days with eating 1600 calories a day (plus 400 calories extra a week), at least 30 minutes of exercise 6 times a week, and a daily quiet time. 100 days in a row. Major discipline required. Thank you Jesus He is on my side. He gives help if I ask Him.

I would love to report the numbers and the success that I will achieve physically during this time. However, I can not. I don’t know what I weigh today. I don’t know the inches. I don’t know the body fat percent and I will not be checking. In time, I will know those things again, but for now that is not my focus. My focus is Jesus. I know those things will come because that is healthy living and of course I haven’t given up on that. My way there is different. My way there is Jesus.

100 days from the start will be September 22nd. I will go to bed on that night having completed the 100 day challenge that the Lord asked me to do. I will be successful if I have obeyed.

End. of. Story.