I’m All Grown Up

I remember as a newish bride, having my father in law over for Thanksgiving meal. He is a RIDICULOUSLY GOOD cook. I mean the kind of cook that makes your average french toast turn to something my kids want to drive to Oregon just to go eat it again. So, as we were finishing up getting the turkey dinner on our $99 butcher block table which was sitting on top of our burnt orange shag carpet of our lovely shoebox rental apartment, my father in law offered to make the gravy. DONE! He said “Where are your spices?” um yeah. Isn’t that what the .69 cent packets are for. Don’t they take care of that? I didn’t so much have more than one or two. It was comical. I don’t remember the outcome of the gravy, but I am sure he made it fly.

Today I was in kind of a funk. Post three weeks of sickness around here and I had to pull out the nazi mom card and get everyone back in shape. There was a great deal of protest and I am a little spent. My superman came home from work a bit early and took all four kids to the park. Ahhhh, silence really is golden.

I climbed in bed for awhile and then decided to try cooking dinner in the quiet to see what that was like. We are on this 10 days of eating real food challenge and on the menu for tonight was tacos. Since those nasty for you, but yummy taco seasoning packets, were out for sure, I googled home made taco seasoning.

1 T chili powder

1/4 t garlic powder

1/4 onion powder

1/4 t crushed red pepper flakes

1/4 t dried oregano

1/2 t paprika

1 1/2 t ground cumin

1 t sea salt

1 t black pepper

Seems doable, but no way did I have all those spices. I decided to take inventory and see how many of them I was missing. As I was pulling them out, one by one Ā (and perhaps the silence was taking some weird toll on me) I suddenly had this overwhelming realization of what a grown up I had become. I had all of them. Every one. I mean I am a girl who can pull multiple spices out of her cupboard and whip up a batch of homemade taco seasoning for her family at a moment’s notice? A long way from the seasoningless turkey gravy days. Right?

Growing up is just plain weird. Nothing can prepare you for it. Honestly, I think that is true. I don’t feel F O R T Y. I feel 26 still. I look in the mirror and realize that ain’t true. I look outside and no longer see my jeep in the driveway, but my minivan. I look at my first born man child who is now a cm or so taller than me and think there is no way I can be responsible for him.

I think sometimes of what it will be like to be the grandma at a Christmas celebration. To hold the wrinkly hand of my partner in crime and look at hopefully the many grandchildren running around. Its just weird to think they will be the children of my children. It is so hard to wrap my head around that. It seems so scary and so magical all at the same time.

Everyone returned from the park and the silence was again replaced with a chattering chubby baby boy, overexcited kids, and a very calm yet stern daddy. I love the silence. I do. However, I am so glad its not permanent. I’m so thankful for my noisy, adventurous, passionate, and mildly chaotic crew.

I am a grown up. I’ve lived a lot of years and Lord willing have a lot left. I am thankful for how I have grown and the growing I have yet to do. I pray I never take it for granted and if I do, that the Lord will remind me, even through something as insignificant as taco seasoning. WHICH, by the way, was absolutely fantastic.

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7 Responses to I’m All Grown Up
  1. Sandi
    March 20, 2012 | 12:04 am

    You are so stinkin’ adorable! I heart you. You say what I’ve felt or thought so much better than I ever could. Don’t stop šŸ˜‰

  2. Sarah at SmallWorld
    March 20, 2012 | 5:16 am

    I understand that feeling sooo well! I am 46 and still have to remind myself every now and then that I am the grown-up, and wonder how in the world all this time has passed.

  3. Amy G
    March 20, 2012 | 5:23 am

    I know exactly what you’re sayin’ friend. We just bought another bunk bed and the crib will be coming down soon. We’ve had that crib up non stop for over 8 years. It hurts my heart. I too try to appreciate each moment, even the noisy, poopy, wining ones.

    I’m gonna have to try that taco seasoning!

  4. Cathy
    March 20, 2012 | 5:39 am

    This is a theme that runs through my head so often – especially now as I approach the final year of formal parenting with our oldest. I wonder how the heck he can be a senior next year since I feel like my own senior year was just a minute ago. We just got an insurance document that notated that Asia has 30 years of driving experience… what the heck? I don’t recall my mother ever mentioning the strangeness of accepting the grown up thing – so I wonder if it’s something unique to our generation.

    I hear ya, sister.

  5. Liz @ The Hesitant Housewife
    March 20, 2012 | 8:57 pm

    So true! The first thing I always ask people on their birthdays is…’do you feel it..’. My granny, who died at 93, always said she never felt changed on the inside,just the outside.

    On the spice note…I am ALWAYS missing at least 1 spice that is important to a recipe. But, alas, I don’t write down the one I’m missing, get to the grocery store….and….I stand there, staring at all those red McCormick lids…and I come home with nothin’. Only to be repeated again a few weeks later!!!! LOL!

  6. By Word of Mouth Musings
    March 20, 2012 | 9:09 pm

    Good for you on the grown up.
    And tonight i used the nasty … and it was awful, so salty and over the top in fake flavor so I drowned mine in sour cream! Home made is so much yummier, since I am old, I know that šŸ˜‰

  7. Cara Yeh
    March 21, 2012 | 9:06 pm

    First of all, I can’t believe it took me 2 days to read this. It seems every time I pulled up your blog, a little one pulled on my leg! Such a fun post! Isn’t it funny what makes us feel “grown-up”? I posted a while back that I was all grown-up because I finally prefer chocolate chip cookies to the dough! (Granted, mine are so undercooked they’re like eating dough!)
    Glad to know your family is on the mend and you got some time to yourself!

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