I love this little boy. He plays on a family piano. It’s been in the family for years.
It’s a representation of good and challenging, love and mistakes, right and wrong. That is family. All of it mixed up together.
This week has been especially challenging in the parent world and I am reminded so profoundly of the importance of each and every word and action we give to our little and not so little ones. Its like a sheet of music rolled out before me, four times over. It arrives blank and together we fill it all in. Note by note.
Getting to know these little people who have become permanent fixtures in my heart and semi permanent in my home is a challenge. Its beautiful, but tough. There is going to be a whole lot of brilliant choices mixed in with “I’m sorry, you just did what?” kinda choices. This week we’ve had a whole bunch of the latter. This mama’s heart is tired and quite frankly a little bit broken. Through it all, all I can do is love them through it, pray them through it, hold their hand through it, and discipline them through it. That’s it. The rest is up to them. I can only give it my all, and I better always give it my all, because their tomorrow depends on my all. They will ultimately be four unique independent individuals making their own choices and for the love of Pete that frightens me. I gotta be honest. That’s just where I’m at today.
There is no time for wallowing over what I didn’t know or should have done. Lesson learned and onward we go.
We are going to make mistakes. Both parent and child. We will learn to forgive and move forward. To love in spite of our difficulties and dark days. Its going to take drive and fight, wisdom and restraint. I guarantee it. Hopefully the end result will reveal that the music that has been written is nothing short of beautiful. Play on….