Day 147. Ramblings.

One thing about me that is both good and well basically annoying is that I can not stand to fail. Even in the little things. Not that I am perfect by any means, but I will go to extravagant lengths to finish a goal and achieve a task. Sometimes, at all too high of an expense. This has been a strength of mine and an enormous road block at times. I was warned by my veteran homeschool mama friends and everything that I read that homeschool is a can of worms that you will never contain. You can always do more and do it better. Absolutely true. Yet, really no different than any other area of life! Parenting, dieting, relationships, jobs, all bring this same issue along with them.

So, here we are in June. School was finished several weeks ago. I was surprisingly calm when I realized that I was not going to complete the 170 posts that I had set out to do. Yes, I will admit that I did contemplate making things up just to finish that goal, but then I realized the level of ridiculousness that that entailed and I quickly came to my senses. I give myself grace because in a matter of months I went from leaving a job that I thought I would be at forever, took my kids out of a fantastic educational environment that was a priority to our family, became a mom who home schools (which was NEVER on my bucket list), and got pregnant with my fourth child at the young age of 38. That’s a lot of change even for a self proclaimed change junkie to handle. My Jesus has held my heart every step of the way and in the grand scheme of things falling 22 posts short is the least of my worries. In fact, I think He had that in mind for me all along. Life will go on.

Life is messy.  You can’t always package it up with a nice pretty bow. Sometimes all the reading, planning, list making, and preparing in the world, will still leave you standing short of your finish line. Why? Because ultimately we are not in control. The joy is in the journey and sometimes it’s best when the finish line eludes you.

Tomorrow I will post pics from our last day of school celebration. In my head the end of school was going to play out very differently. However, when I dreamed that up, I did not factor into it weeks of intense morning sickness, fatigue, and general crabbiness. So, our last day of school played out different than planned and I breathed my way through it. We enjoyed every minute of it and are embracing every second of summer because all too soon it will be time to start the school year all over again.

Now there is just 23 school days left until summer.